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Loki could have been three realms away and tied to a chair, and Odin would somehow still find a way to pin responsibility on him for any trouble.
“Worry not, brother. Father will understand.”
He did not.
“Perhaps you could find something more accurate. You could call yourselves the Society where Hospitality is Ignored Totally. Or, for short—”
Loki went on staring at the sky, sure that the ferocity of his stare could penetrate the Bifrost. “Heimdall, this isn’t funny. Bring me back. Tell Father to bring me back. Heimdall, you son of a—” Behind him, he heard a soft crunch, and he whirled on Theo. “Are you eating?!” Theo froze, one hand dipped into a greasy paper bag. “I missed dinner because I was tending you.”
“I’m trying to access an interdimensional portal and you’re snacking?” He held the bag out to Loki. “Would you like some? They’re peanuts. Do you have peanuts on Asgard?”
“You need a plague,” Loki said as they finally broke into the Clapham Common, the streets stuffed with carriages and wagons but the sidewalks less congested and far less hostile. “Something to decrease your surplus population a bit.” “We had one,” Mrs. S. replied. “Several, actually, but somehow the bastards just keep hanging on.”
the door was guarded by two stone demons wrapping themselves around the frame, wings extended and tails curled over the lintel. They looked down at the queue of people waiting to get in, their mouths open in a wild, toothy cackle that flanked the words painted in gold: The Inferno. Below that, in vertical letters along the sides of the frame, ALL HOPE ABANDON, YE WHO ENTER HERE. Which was a tad dramatic.
“Do you have a preference? Between men and women?” “I feel equally comfortable as either.” “No, I don’t mean...not all of us can change our gender at will.” “I don’t change my gender. I exist as both.” “You’re not...That doesn’t make sense.” “It does to me.” “Well, all hail Asgard, then.”
“So maybe we’re villains.” She whirled on him, her veil fluttering at her side like she had grown wings. “Maybe there’s a reason people fear us.”
“You’re already the villain in everyone’s stories, Loki,” she replied, dropping her veil over her face. “Why not start playing your part?”
“I like SHIELD, because there’s an L in there, so you can work Loki into it.”
He was always going to be the hero. And I’m not. I could descend from the heavens surrounded in angelic light and give everyone in your realm cheese sandwiches and a unicorn, and you would all still know me only as the villain from the stories.
Also, I’ve got some excellent ideas for government-funded theatre in the capital, and I just can’t imagine you’d have a similar dedication to the expansion of the arts.”
“Well, I’ve never been fond of being overpowered.” Loki shrugged. “So we find ourselves at a stalemate.”
“You know who I am,” Loki replied. “My story has existed for centuries. It’s written in every book you’ve ever read, every myth you adore. I am the villain of your stories. That’s all I ever will be.” “So write new stories,” Theo said, the belligerence rising in his voice to match Loki’s. “No one’s destiny is written in the stars.”
“Thank you,” Loki said. “But I had that covered.” “Sure you did.”
There’s always a choice.
