Rock Chick (Rock Chick, #1)

by Kristen Ashley

Lee nailed everything that was female, had long hair, big boobs, a fine ass and was breathing. Every female, that is, but me, no matter how hard I tried. And let’s just say I tried real hard. I, too, have big boobs, a helluvan ass, long, russet hair (with just enough wave) and was, as far as I could tell, not the walking dead.

“It’s not Rosie who’s gonna pay.” My head did an involuntary little jerk when I understood what he meant. “I don’t have that kind of money.” “You aren’t gonna pay me in cash.” My stomach clenched and my heart stopped for a couple of beats. “How am I gonna pay you?” I asked. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” he didn’t exactly answer.

Kkekeke

I couldn’t exactly throw myself at him when Hank, Dad and Malcolm were around (Ally would have slept through it).

lol

I looked at Ally, who had dropped another bag on the floor. This one was not an overnighter. This one was bigger and stuffed full. Undoubtedly packed with enough of my clothes to get me through a week of staying at Lee’s, by the end of which I would likely be pregnant or Lee’s love slave, or both.

I bought milk, corn chips, two diet pops and all the ingredients for the macaroni salad and brownies I needed to make for Dad’s barbeque. This cost me twice as much as it would if I’d just gone to King Soopers, but Tex was right, we had to watch out for the little guy, especially me, as I, too, was a little guy. Mr. Kumar’s eyes filled up with tears as I brought all my stuff to the counter. “You are an angel from heaven,” he breathed.

very sweet - i support you

Tod and Stevie lived next door. They were both flight attendants. They had a Chow dog named Chowleena who gave more attitude than either Tod or Stevie, and as Tod was the top drag queen in Denver, this meant Chowleena threw a lot of ’tude.

I told him about the shooting, diamonds, coffee guy, stun-gunning, kidnapping, Lee’s sex extortion plans, the love of my life business, and even Tex with the goggles. I explained I needed to hang out at their house until Lee came and went or I’d likely be charmed out of my panties and have my heart broken by seven o’clock Monday morning. Tod blinked. Then he said, as he linked arms with me and walked me out of his room, “Stevie’s barbequing chops. I’m sure we have extra.” They always had extra and not much fazed Tod. We’d been living next to each other for years. He was used to my escapades, not to mention he was a drag queen. I’d have to add murder and perhaps an international incident involving royalty to faze Tod.

im cracked

For my evening’s activities, I pulled my hair back at my nape in a ponytail and put on a black turtleneck, black jeans, black cowboy boots and my black belt with the tiny rhinestones in the buckle, because if I was gonna get arrested, I was gonna go in looking good regardless of my shiner.

lol go down swingin' babe - me too

Then something settled on my shoulder. I gave a little screech and whirled, not knowing who I’d see. It could be Lee, Wilcox’s goons, the shooters, a police officer or Dracula. Instead, it was Tex standing there with the goggles no longer on the top of his head, but over his eyes. He put his finger to his lips then, a scant second later, put his fist through the window. I stared at the window then back at Tex then back at the window. “What are you doing?” I whispered. “B and E, darlin’,” he answered casually.

“Quit your squawkin’ and get in there.” Then he grabbed me by the waist, picked me up and threw me through the window like I weighed no more than a bag of flour.

“Are you crazy?” I asked a crazy man. “You just threw me through a window.” “You looked like you were gettin’ second thoughts.” “It’s dark, you can’t see me.” He tapped his goggles. “Night vision.” Shit.

so far - everything in this book is so dramatic and silly & i am simply HERE for it hhahahaha

“Ohmigod.” “Please tell me you didn’t touch anything in there,” Lee said to me. I shook my head. “Please tell me you didn’t break that window,” Lee went on. “I did the breakin’ and the enterin’ for both of us. After I did the breakin’, I threw her through the window,” Tex offered this information and Lee’s eyes cut to Tex. “I’m sorry?” Lee asked and his voice was scary. Tex seemed not to notice it. “She was gettin’ second thoughts.” Lee stared at Tex for a beat.

“I’m callin’ Hank in on this one,” he announced. My eyes nearly popped out of my head. “You can’t! He’s gonna freak that I’m here!” “You weren’t here. Tex was here. Tex, the concerned neighbor,” Lee replied. “That’s me. Everyone around here knows I’m a concerned neighbor. Gotta go make a call.” Tex put his big hand on top of my head. “You did good, for a girl. Didn’t puke or nothin’.” “Thanks Tex,” I said on a shaky smile, not quite sure that was a compliment but willing to accept it as one all the same.

I turned to him. “I have a car here. It’s my neighbor’s. My bag’s in there. I have to—” Lee held up a hand and I stopped talking. “What you have to do is keep your mouth shut until we get back to the condo so I can take that time to talk myself out of strangling you.” Yikes. I felt it prudent to do as he requested. I’d had a rough couple of days. I didn’t want it to end in strangulation.

🤣😂what a goober

“You want your dad to see crime scene photos of you, dead, sitting on that sweet ass of yours with your brains splattered against the wall?” Yikes. My stomach lurched and my legs went weak. “No.” “Then this ends tonight.” I stared at him. “Indy, by God, if you don’t promise me—” “Of course it ends tonight! I just saw a dead body! You can’t think I’m that stupid.” His face said he thought I was that stupid.

biiiiiig OOF

He pushed me gently and I fell back on the bed and finally realized where I was and what he was doing. “Lee—” Then he moved fast. He pulled my wrist over my head, leaned into me, I heard a snap and ratchet, then I heard another snap and ratchet. Then I was handcuffed to his bed. “What the hell!” I yelled.

I mean...honey, are you really that surprised - you cant stay out of trouble 😂🤗😂😋

Two hands, undoubtedly connected to arms, which connected to Lee’s body, settled on the balcony railing on either side of me. I felt his warmth at my back.

I didn’t have time to perform any mental recalculations as he turned me around, took the coffee cup and put it on the teak table that was just within reach. Then his arms slid around me, I opened my mouth to say something, anything, and then he kissed me. The tingles intensified by about one hundred percent and started to target specific zones. After the kiss, his lips trailed along my cheek to my ear. I had my hands pressed against his chest and I said, perhaps stupidly and definitely shakily, “What are you doing?” He answered, “Saying good morning.” He said, “good morning” really, really well. Far better than he said, “thank you.”

“You think I’d touch you unless it meant something?”

Emotional tears were unacceptable. Pissed-off tears were perfectly fine, so I let them flow.

“Why are you crying?” he asked conversationally. “Because you piss me off.” “You’re crying because you’re angry?” “Seems like it. Now get out of my way.” Quick as a flash, he grabbed my purse and threw it across the room. I watched it sail and land in the armchair again, then I turned back to him, eyes wide. “What the—?” I started.

He pulled the bag off my arm and also threw that across the room. It landed on the floor with a soft “phunf” a foot away from the armchair. I watched it go and then turned back to him. Words escaped me so I just stared. His hands came up to my face, his thumbs running along the tears on my cheeks. “Stop crying,” he demanded. My mouth dropped open. “You can’t just tell me to stop crying,” I informed him.

lolol men smh haha

He stopped me with a hand on my arm and swung me around. “Quit it!” I yelled as he pulled me to him. His face was no longer blank and stony, it was soft again and I was pretty certain he was a raving lunatic. “No. Now I’m gonna take you to bed and make love to you. Later, we’re gonna go to your dad’s barbeque. After that, we’ll talk.” I shook my head and tried to pull free. “Sorry, I have different plans for the day.” His arms slid around me. “Honey, it occurs to me from what you asked me earlier that you have the wrong impression about me. Today, I’m gonna show you who I am. Tonight, I’m gonna tell you what I want. Tomorrow, you can make up your mind.” I blinked at him. “I’ve known you all my life,” I reminded him. “You have no fucking clue.”

“No.” One of his hands slid into my hair and pulled my head back and to the side, exposing my neck. His mouth, all of sudden, was there. “Yes,” he said against my neck while walking me back to the bed. “Stop it, you’re crazy! One second you tell me to pack my bags, the next second you’re on me like white on rice.” The backs of my knees hit the bed and we both went down, him on top of me, his lips on mine. “Gorgeous, give me ten minutes and I’ll be in you.” At that promise, and him calling me “gorgeous,” an electric spasm went straight through my lower belly. He kissed me and that was it. I’m a slut. I don’t know what to say. Even with the emotional scene, I gave in.

“Well, he’s fighting his reputation. And that man has a reputation. Only boy worse than him was his best friend Eddie. It was like they were in a competition to see who was the worst rutting dawg out there. Can’t be fun to be practically famous for fucking anything that breathes and being able to do so by expending the immense effort of just sending a smile their way. Then, later, you find yourself in a position where you’re serious about a woman who’s known you all your life and knows this fact real well and have to convince her you’re serious.”

“Do you think he’s serious?” Andrea was silent for a second. “Are you being funny?”

she said, "are you stupid?" 😂

“So yeah, I think he’s serious,” she went on. “And I can’t imagine that Liam Nightingale is the kind of guy who appreciates the woman he’s serious about questioning his seriousness when he’s right in the middle of…you know.” Holy shit.

“You went without me? You went with the crazy cat sitter?” “I was breaking and entering! Tex showed up in the middle of it. We found Tim dead, Ally. Trust me, be glad you weren’t there. This is over. Lee’s turned it over to Hank.” “What about your bet?” Ally asked. I thought about Lee’s plans for the day. I thought about what Andrea said. “I think I lost.” Truthfully, I wasn’t too broken up about it. “Well, at least that’s a piece of good news,” she mumbled.

When I got within reaching distance, his arm shot out and pulled me to him with a hand hooked around my neck. My front pretty much slammed against his side and his arm curled further around my shoulders. From the blood draining out of Matt’s face, I’d say that Lee’s point had been made. If he banged on his chest and grunted, “Indy, my woman,” he wouldn’t have made the point any better. Men.

okay but we like it hahahah

“Indy, I swear to God—” Hank started. Lee’s coffee cup hit the counter. He grabbed mine and set it down, pulled me off the counter and into the bedroom where he closed the door. “Shirt off,” he demanded. “What? Now?” I stared at him, confused. Lightning quick, he had the shirt pulled over my head. At this point, I was pretty glad I put on my bra. “Where’d you land?” he asked and I stared at him. “When Tex threw you through the window, where’d you land?” Oh. That’s what he was talking about. “Back right shoulder,” I told him. He whipped me around and his hands roamed my skin, then before I knew what he was doing, they came around to the front and undid my jeans and the jeans were down to my ankles. “For goodness sake, Lee!” I cried. He’d disrobed me in nary a second. I would have thought it was impossible if he hadn’t just done it.

i had to re-read this hahahah i thought he just stripped her in front of everyone hahaha i would have been madder than a wet hen

I looked Hank in the eye. “Why would I need that?” “Thank God,” Hank breathed, rolling his eyes to the ceiling to make sure God knew he was taking his gratitude seriously.

If I but breathed a word of what it actually was like to kiss Lee, be held by Lee, or, dear Lord, what Lee looked like naked, I might cause a riot, even a war. I might have to arm myself and fight them all back lest Lee be torn limb from limb.

It was for the better health of the female population and peace in the land that I kept my mouth shut.

I was sitting on the ottoman, dabbing at Tod’s palm with alcohol-soaked cotton balls then blowing on it to take the pain away when Tod said, “I thought you were making up a story when you said you’d been shot at. I thought it was another one of your stories.” “I don’t have any stories. All that shit I tell you actually happens.” Tod stared at me while he processed this. This was a new dimension in our relationship.

The bed was big and had a pink Pottery Barn comforter cover with little hot-pink flowers and lots of fluffy pillows at the head. It was a girlie room, not the room of a Rock Chick, and thus was kind of a naughty little secret, just like my underwear. When I entered, Lee turned melty-chocolate eyes to me. “Nice room.” My toes curled into the carpet. I read a magazine article once about how guys actually liked feminine rooms because it made them feel like a conqueror when they invaded such a room. Lee’s face showed he was in the conquering mood.

🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤣🤣🤗😋

“Matt and Tod are downstairs,” I informed him. He reached beyond me and shut the door. “Lee! I’m in the middle of making macaroni salad and there are bullet holes in my fence! This has got to stop and you’re supposed to be the one stopping it.” He pulled me into him, close enough for my breasts to brush his chest. A rush of electricity shot through my body as his arms slid around me. “I don’t get a taste of you soon, I’m givin’ up the search and takin’ you to my cabin in Grand Lake. No phones, no cell coverage, no buzzer. Anyone knocks on the door and I’m shooting them.”

“We’re supposed to be having a talk,” I reminded him. “Oh, we’ll talk,” he promised and I had that Christmas Eve feeling again, except it was Christmas Eve with the devil. He was watching me. “I can’t read your face.” “Some thoughts are secret.” He seemed happy with that, which was surprising.

😋🤗🤭😜😝🤣🤣

I did know it made me feel less pressured, but more confused, because one of us was supposed to be feeling pissy and neither of us were.

“I’ll tell you one thing,” I said to him. “I don’t know what to make of you. I can’t get my head wrapped around any of this.” His arms tightened and his face came closer, then deviated from its course at the last minute. He whispered in my ear a couple of things I could make of him and another couple of things I could wrap around him. My nether regions quivered and I couldn’t help myself. I put my lips to his neck then touched my tongue there. It seemed I couldn’t wait to taste him either.

🤭😜🤭

Then the doorbell rang. Lee stopped whispering in my ear and started cursing. I pulled out of his arms, grabbed the sarong and knotted it at my hips. Lee tucked his shirt back in. Maybe Grand Lake was the way to go.

‼‼‼🤣

“I saw this at Saks when I was looking for shoes. It cost one thousand seven hundred and fifty dollars!” he announced. That sick clutch in my stomach lurched and became full-blown nausea. Tod was happily looking at Lee, thinking it was from him and that I’d hit the mother lode of hunky boyfriends with platinum credit cards.

Once the door closed, Tod turned to me. “Girlie, he is fine. He’s fine times twelve. He’s the new definition of fine.” “I’ve been in love with him since I was five,” I told Tod. “I’m in love with him now. I want to have his children,” Tod told me.

“He scares me now. He’s an adult. He has a head on his shoulders. He’s good at this relationship stuff. I think he’s serious about me. And he runs in some pretty frightening circles.” “Girlie, you fuck this up and I’m calling the boys in the white jackets. You let something that fine slip through your fingers, you deserve a padded room. Especially if he’s good at relationship stuff. Most especially if he’s serious about you. No one who looks like that and fills out a pair of jeans like that is good at relationship stuff. I don’t care if he runs through the seven circles of hell.” Tod had a point.

“I need to finish my macaroni salad and make brownies. Wanna help?” Tod shrugged. “Sure. You watch Chowleena. I’m going next door to get my gun.” “Your gun?” “Hunk of Burning Love is out there fighting a war for you so someone has to protect you. I’ll be right back.”

I’d quit self-defense classes before week three, and as far as I knew I was not bulletproof like Superman.

Kitty Sue was the wife of a cop. She’d long since learned that teary hysterics would get her nowhere, but yelling captured attention. Men as a whole didn’t know what to do with tears, but they’d do anything to make a woman stop yelling.

They said if we were quiet and didn’t stay long, Mr. Kumar and I could go and visit Tex together. Tex looked out of place, too peaceful and way too big for the bed. I didn’t know what to make of him without his night vision goggles. I barely knew this man at all and he’d saved my kneecap. He came to, groggy, opened his eyes and they focused on me. “You’re a fun date. What’re we gonna do tomorrow night?” he asked. After he asked the question, he fell back to sleep hearing my stunned laughter.

That was hardly the point. Okay, it was a point, just not the point. It was my longstanding theory that men missed the point on purpose.

probably

“You buy food at my store,” Mr. Kumar stated. “We are here to buy books at yours.” Something about this show of solidarity made me want to cry. Mr. Kumar must have sensed it because he bowed his head to me. I bowed mine back.

the warm and fuzzies! I have em!

Hank stopped and turned. “Where are you goin’?” he asked Tex. “With you,” Tex answered. “I don’t think so,” Hank replied. “You think you can protect Little Miss Calamity here all by yourself?”