The New Me

by Halle Butler

I think about how much I don’t really like TV. Don’t really think of myself as a TV person. I imagine that one day I’ll listen to music while I make dinner, an act that feels very healthy and stable when I think about it, but for now I still need the TV.

It’s okay for me to watch TV because I’m aware of what’s really going on. I take it one step further, recognizing that that last idea is wrong. Recognition is not the first step to change. Not in my experience, anyway.

Back at my desk I sit and slowly collect money that I can use to pay the rent on my apartment and on food so that I can continue to live and continue to come to this room and sit at this desk and slowly collect money.