The Path Made Clear: Discovering Your Life's Direction and Purpose

by Oprah Winfrey

You’re never on the wrong path. You’re just not managing it well. You’re making choices that are harming you. And that’s why it’s hurting right now. You’re making unwise choices. And your intuition is trying to tell you that.

That the worst, most ultimate betrayal is the betrayal to yourself.

Your self-worth is your job. It’s your sacred space to cultivate. Because there’s always going to be somebody who comes along and says, “You’re not thin enough,” or, “Your hair’s not that enough,” or, “Your voice is not high enough,” or, “You’re not going to make it in the music industry because you don’t sound like all the other girls.” But if you can, remind yourself that they’re wrong because you know you’re on your path. Sometimes I just ask myself, What would I do if I knew I was 100 percent worthy of this? What would I do? Just ask, What if?

There’s a shift that takes place when you’re talking about the possibilities more than you’re talking about your issues. With your issues, your energy goes into the lower frequencies. Doubt. Worry. Fear. Now you’re in that sediment. You’re in that dynamic. But if you start talking about possibility, even if you don’t know how to get there, then your energy starts to go up. Ask a what if question. What if all my needs were met? What would I be doing in my life? What if everything is really working together for my good? What if all the bad things that have happened in my life are leading me to activating some great potential in my experience? What if God really is on my side? You ask a what if question and you start to notice little tiny miracles happening in your life.

there are a couple of core shadow beliefs. I’m not good enough. I’m unlovable. Another form of I’m not good enough is I’m unworthy. And I think women more than anybody have that innately inside of them. So those are three very powerful shadow beliefs that birth all the other ones that come along. It’s not about resisting these beliefs, it’s about embracing. And asking how do we feel strong enough no matter who we are? We’re born with gifts that have been so suppressed that we can’t allow that real self to emerge. And if you can’t allow the dark to exist, then you can’t allow the light.

relax and lean away. And once you lean away and get some space, you will learn over time that that’s the smartest thing you ever did. Why? Because you gave the noise room to pass through and it does. It passes right through.

You learn how to interface and interact with life in a wholesome, participatory way. Letting go of fear is not letting go of life.

They’re just the fearful-est, most terrified parts of me. They are scared to death. And they are throwing temper tantrums because of their fear. And now I have to tell them that it’s going to be okay. And they will all go to sleep. I am the mother of all of these parts of me.

All dreams start from the core. Unless you are in total alignment with whatever you envision, the dream will get derailed. Your intention has to be pure. —Oprah

The Alchemist: When you want something, all the Universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

The variable between winning the race and faltering at the finish line lies with one of the guiding forces in my life: intention.

Before you embark on any quest, you must first articulate your vision. Set your course. It doesn’t have to be a public or formal declaration, but it does need to be clear. Particularly in today’s climate, where there is a palpable craving for meaning and authenticity.

“People have no idea of my tenacity. Once I commit to something and I have a full-hearted desire to see it work, I can’t imagine what it would take to make me quit.”

I held a vision for what this school could be—a place to build leaders and inspire greatness.

I was convinced we could raise these girls to know for themselves what I’ve told them over and over again: You are not your circumstances. You are your possibilities.

discovering your purpose begins with committing to your course. Whether you want to fulfill a long-held dream, find greater success in the career you’ve chosen, give more of yourself to others, or repair a broken relationship, you must first ask yourself, Why? What is the real intention? And then ask, How will I execute the action?

Their only limits are the ones they set. From day one I told them, “Don’t just break the ceiling, reach for what’s beyond.”

The moment you know with certainty that your intention is fully aligned with what you believe, all bets are off. You’ve already won!

If you don’t have a vision, you’re going to be stuck in what you know. And the only thing you know is what you’ve already seen. But a vision that grows inside of you, a vision that wakes with you, sleeps with you, moves with you, a vision that you can tap into on your worst days—that vision will pull you forward. Affirm your vision. Clarify your vision. Not only what you’re doing, but also why you’re doing it and how you’re doing it day by day, moment by moment. And sometimes the how shows up only on a need-to-know basis. Sometimes you just have to walk blindly. But if you just do your vision every single day, putting one foot in front of the other, committed to your desires, being obedient, walking through your fears, the vision will unfold much grander than you could have ever even imagined or asked for.

Your job and my job while here is to align our personalities with our souls. And we do that by becoming the personality that has the same intentions of the soul: harmony, cooperation, sharing, and reverence for life.

Because just by turning inward instead of acting in the moment, you have created a little gap between the impulse and the action. And into that space, you can inject consciousness. Into that space, you can do something you couldn’t have done before. Choose consciously.

It’s your choice. And you make the choice every time you choose an intention. When you choose an intention

BRENÉ: Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable. You will learn this from my words and my actions; the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself. I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy every time you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections. We will practice courage in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen, and honoring vulnerability. We’ll share our stories of struggle and strength. There will always be room in our home for both. We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first, then with each other. I want you to know joy so together we’ll practice gratitude. I want you to feel joy so together we’ll learn how to be vulnerable. Together we’ll cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain, but instead I will sit with you and teach you how to feel it. We will laugh and sing and dance and create. We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other, no matter what. You will always belong here. As you begin your wholehearted journey, the greatest gift that I can give to you is to live and love with my whole heart and to dare greatly. I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you, truly, deeply seeing you.

If you make disciplined choices, you slowly engrave a certain set of habits and dispositions inside that core piece. If you make fragmented decisions, you make that core piece a little degraded. When I look at people with character, what they have is consistency over time.

The leaders I’ve observed who are the best are the ones who have courage to take a chance and be willing to lose on principle. And they are self-aware. They understand their strengths and they understand their weaknesses. They play to their strengths, and they try to shore up their weaknesses. The people who don’t do that, who aren’t self-aware—that abuse of power ends up in their downfall.

Management is telling somebody what to do. Leadership is inspiring them to do it. And inspiration, for me, comes from three areas. It’s the clarity of one’s vision, the courage of one’s conviction, and the ability to effectively communicate both of those things.

I learned through the success of Wild is that if you take that risk, if you take that chance, if you tell the truest, hardest, deepest story that you have within you, you’re not going to step into the light and find that you’re there alone. You’re going to be surrounded by people who are there with you.

Potential is always bigger than the problem. Your potential is infinite and is always bigger than whatever problem you’re going through. And your life begins to be okay when you wake up in the morning, and say, I’m going to walk in the direction of my purpose. I’m going to walk in the direction of my vision. You’re being pulled more by joy. That doesn’t mean you’re not going to have challenges. We’re not praying to have a challenge-free life. We’re praying that the challenges that come will activate latent potential. You begin to see, visualize, the kind of life you want to live. Begin to write it down. Begin to dream about it. And then you talk about it.

before you can give yourself to someone else, you need to know what you stand for.

At eleven years old I made a very definitive decision. And my decision was that I wanted to be happy. Above and beyond anything I ever did in my life, I wanted to be happy.

And I said, “I want to be happy.” That’s really all I wanted. Talk about an intention. That’s a better intention than a white picket fence.

Find your lane. Make space for the flow to show itself. Follow the natural rhythm of your life, and you will discover a force far greater than your own. —Oprah

This way of thinking, she says, reminds her to stay open to learning, because travel “brings people out of their heads and into their hearts” and offers the promise of expanding the truth. Spiritually, the “on the road” philosophy keeps Gloria in the moment, feeling “boundaryless, spontaneous, and at one with everything.”

For me, that “on the road” philosophy is the definition of the word flow. It means first identifying and then trusting your own current, one that is in complete alignment with your life.

You might have heard athletes, artists, or musicians describe flow as being in the zone. They use phrases such as tunnel vision, complete calm, or ultra-focus. Some liken it to a spiritual experience—a state of consciousness in which time feels like it has slowed down or completely fallen away.

I once asked LeBron what could possibly cause an MVP like him to lose his rhythm on the court. His response: “I get off my game when I start playing for others rather than playing for myself.” Yes! This is a universal truth. We fall off course the minute our intention shifts from following our heart to responding to what we think others believe. All of a sudden, life feels complicated.

The goal is to get back to living for yourself, to get back to your flow. And that is not a selfish thing. It’s an honorable thing.

I have learned that creating your own purpose-filled momentum is possible only when you give yourself the space, moment to moment, to focus on the next right choice.

DEEPAK CHOPRA Everybody’s looking for the future. They’re never in the present. So when they arrive at the future, it’s not there for them because they’re not present for it. If you get the idea that this is the moment that you have, it is the only moment that you have, then you live in the present, and you move with the flow, because this is the point of arrival. Right now.

I have no argument with greatness. But if arriving at my great destination becomes an excuse for dismissing my life now because I haven’t found that great purpose yet, that’s a waste of a day, if not a life.

You know why we’re tired? Because we’re pretending. It takes so much work to pretend. When you can really be who you are and find out where you fit and function from a place of comfort, then you stop working. You stop wrestling.

Putting yourself in environments with people who are positive or doing what you’re doing, whether it’s starting a business, owning a company, managing a division—you need to run with people who have your current and who are in your flow.

If you’re doing your best, if you’re giving it your all, if you’re pursuing your dreams, if you’re growing, then you’ve got to believe your time is coming. And in the meantime, when we’re content, we’re honoring God. If you don’t get happy where you are, you probably won’t get to where you want to be.

Funny thing about a mountain: It always looks easier to climb when you’re at the foot of it. —Oprah

Valerie told me that when Nick originally wrote the lyrics, he was referring to his all-encompassing goal to one day write songs professionally. At the time, Nick was an unknown musician living in New York City, hoping to be discovered. While looking up at the skyscrapers towering above him, he came up with the phrase ain’t no mountain high enough to convey just how determined he was that nothing was going to keep him from his dream: No wind, no rain Or winter’s cold can stop me baby, ’Cause you are my goal.

I was in the midst of one of the biggest climbs of my life. I’d even started calling this new endeavor “my Kilimanjaro.” And in this particular instance, it seemed, the higher I hiked, the trickier the terrain.

One of my favorite lessons from Joel Osteen is, “What follows ‘I am’ is what we’re inviting into our life.” Meaning when you use phrases like,“I am exhausted,” or, “I am overwhelmed,” you are inviting exactly that kind of energy into your life. The moment I shifted my perspective from I am struggling to I am honored, my climb was transformed from an arduous trek into a still challenging but now stimulating adventure, and my entire outlook changed. Ever since that time, whenever I’ve encountered a disruption, rather than allowing it to rattle me, I ask myself one of the most meaningful and productive questions there is: What is this here to teach me?

“There will always be setbacks. What you are experiencing is a detour. It’s not the end of the road. You’ve got to be prepared to fail up.” Most important, I teach the girls that everything that is happening to them is a means to help them evolve into who they are meant to become. Nothing is ever out of order. So when their will is being tested and all seems lost, I advise them to stop, get still, and listen. Their heart will tell them the next right step. And once they figure it out, it’s time to look around and ask themselves, Who is standing with me in the gap? Because what I discovered long ago is that when life is treating you well and it seems you can’t go wrong, there will always be people who want to ride with you in the limo. But what you really want are the people who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

Your Kilimanjaro awaits. —Oprah

OPRAH: It’s like what you say about human evolution: It’s not linear. Rather, it’s take two steps forward in your life and one step back. And the farther back you go, the more of a bounce you have to move forward. Right? ECKHART: Yes. We definitely have evolved in consciousness. But it does not go in a straight line upward. You regress, and then you go forward. You regress, and then you go forward a bit more. It goes in cycles. We need the crisis. There are two levels of truth. One is to see the craziness of what’s happening now. And another is to see, from a higher perspective, that what’s happening now is part of our evolution.