Hello Beautiful: Break free from the chains of regret, comparison, and self-doubt, and discover the freedom, power, and beauty of being the real you.

by Keryl Pesce

a world that will tell you ten thousand times a day you are wrong, I will unflinchingly remind you, in a thousand different ways, of your rightness. -LiYana Silver

Just like scars that form over cuts or burns once you’ve healed, these previously vulnerable places become your toughest. You are stronger, not in spite of your pain, but because of it.

One, you may not get to choose whether or not to go through this, but you get to choose how you go through it. That part is always up to you. Two, find a way to bring meaning to your suffering by responding in such a way you grow and it benefits other people.

We are doing ourselves and each other a great disservice by not showing up as our whole selves, by holding back or hiding parts of us, and only showing that which we think will serve or protect us or help us be accepted by others.

It will do us all a world of good to judge others less, open our hearts more, and chip away at the unreasonable expectations we put on ourselves. We aren’t perfect, but we are blessed to live this life, and we are better off being whole and real than fragmented and partially hidden. People will still accept and even love us exactly as we are, and those who don’t didn’t love the real us, and that’s more than okay. When you understand how and choose to be the real you, you will have this powerful force called integrity by your side, every step you take, and that’s a beautiful thing.

We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love. -Lori Deschene

but I myself wasn’t happy.

Drowning in a sea of confusion and about to go under, I prayed for a lifeline.

Just give me something, anything to grab onto that helps me understand. Because this shit? I’m done with it. By

Whatever he’s selling that you can afford, buy. As of this writing, he doesn’t have an affiliate program, so I ain’t getting squat for sending you to him other than the satisfaction of knowing you will be better off as a result.

If a well-meaning parent, teacher, or relative says something to us that we feel shames an aspect of ourselves,

something to do with our physical body or looks,

Based on what you’ve learned about me so far, what aspect of myself was I not allowing a role for in my life? What part of me did I deem unacceptable and ignored for so long that it was now emotionally bankrupting me? This is going to blow your mind. Sadness. Sounds crazy, right?

believed sadness was a threat and would weaken me, so I resisted it at all costs. When

I’m Keryl, the positive person. These thoughts don’t belong in my life. As they say, what we resist, persists.

the stronger the resistance I experienced between who I thought I should be on the outside, my mask, and what I really felt inside.

felt, for the second time in my life (as I wrote about in Happy Bitch) like a shell of myself. This time, because of what was going on inside me, not because of what was going on around me.

My denial of a genuine, human emotion was a denial of a legitimate part of me.

unbeknownst to me and certainly to my mother, I came to the conclusion that it’s not okay to

sad and upset, and if you are, you will not be heard. Excuse me, Sadness? Got a minute? You’re fired.

Here’s the irony: The more I feared and denied sadness because I believed it was a threat, the more it weakened me and the more power it held over me, not in support of me. My futile efforts were like trying to deny my right arm as if it didn’t belong to me, but my arm kept punching me in the face saying...

know it sounds unbelievable, but if you dig a little deeper and put this in the right...

We aren’t supposed to be something other than exactly what and who we are. To think otherwise is the grandest lie of all...

chipping away at the one God or the Universe create...

grew up with the identity of a positive person. You may ask, “Well, what’s wrong with that? That’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Mostly, yes. Developing the mindset to overwhelmingl...

Remember, I created an entire belief system, identity, and career in which sadness could play no part.

want? To show up each and every day, to ourselves and others as the most authentic version of ourselves? My God! What could be more liberating and empowering?

turns out that everything I believed to be true about happiness was correct. It was just incomplete. I was incomplete. No amount of positive psychology, gratitude practice,

All you need is a little patience and trust in your inner wisdom. What I am about to share is an abbreviated version of the process Artie took me through and my own account of it. It will absolutely get you started. For a more in-depth experience, visit www.presidemeditation.com.

“Where in my life am I struggling?” Here’s the big one: “Where in my life did I come to believe “I’ll only be lovable if ________?” Then relax and wait for it. I promise you

Don’t be afraid of it. It may sting a little, but the relief you will ultimately feel and

assure you this process can be very liberating. It may be scary and painful, but you will feel lighter

Keep in mind, this part of you doesn’t want or need to dictate and control everything. You are the Chairwoman of the Board. So depending on the answers you get, you can engage in a sort of negotiation.

a powerful exercise. I immediately felt better, more complete, relaxed, and confident.

try something, or criticizes you when you do make a mistake.

annoying and mean as it can be, actually wants you to succeed.

It’s afraid you won’t be successful, so it’s trying to correct what it sees as wrong with you or your actions.

Just this understanding alone changes the game. We think there is something wrong with us for having the voice of negativity and try to crush it or eliminate it.

You can then come to an agreement with

you can acknowledge its intention is to help but gain agreement that it will speak to you with respect and constructively rather than critically.

Then when that bitchy voice creeps back in, you can say, “Okay, hold on a minute. We agreed t...

Don’t be afraid to stop and write these conversations out. They are great to refer back to and doing so helps you clear your head. Get it out of your he...

addition to feeling more grounded, complete, and confident, I began to approach my life a little differently.

immediately turn the conversation positive if they feel down.

Here is the ridiculously cool thing about this process. Not only will you feel better, happier, more

You have been using a shit load of energy denying this part of you, and now you will free up that energy to take yourself and your life where you truly want to go.

will help you see more clearly the direction of your life, and make better, wiser decisions.

Bringing the whole you together, having the courage and wisdom to present the full and complete you to yourself and the world, is simultaneously liberating and empowering beyond imagination.

nothing wrong with any part of you.

Carve out some private time to welcome aspects of yourself back into your life.