Hello Beautiful: Break free from the chains of regret, comparison, and self-doubt, and discover the freedom, power, and beauty of being the real you.

by Keryl Pesce

took me a long, long time to realize we are not meant to be perfect. We’re meant to be whole. -Jane Fonda

noticed, we live in a time when thinking positive is the attitude de

realize I sound like a drag but hang with me for a second.

am absolutely an advocate of looking for the good in situations, others, and ourselves. I believe wholeheartedly in the incredible power each of us has to choose our perspectives and responses in any given situation.

rub. If it is forced positivity and in conflict with how you truly feel inside, you’re offering up a load of bullshit to yourself and the universe and not only will it not help you, there’s a good chance you’ll dig yourself deeper into a pit of ick, a swampy, heavy mess of low self-worth, self-doubt, fear, and sadness.

You know it and whether the people around you consciously realize it or not, they do too.

Constantly forcing our thoughts to the positive when in reality we feel like crap creates internal conflict. We begin to feel like frauds. And in a way, we are. We...

First we have a negative emotion, which doesn’t feel great to begin with. Then we add to the situation with the judgment of “I shouldn’t feel negative emotions, so what’s wrong with me that I do? I focus on the positive.

Yes, I am an advocate of looking for the good in situations, others, and ourselves.

given the ability to experience sadness, anger, fear, or any of their other “negative” counterparts if they didn’t somehow serve

Look for the good in situations, but don’t do so rigidly and as a cover up to what you truly feel or you’ve got a recipe for prolonged struggle, internal and external conflict, and possible breakdown.

As I said, it could be an emotional aspect, a gender aspect, a natural inclination toward creativity–just about anything. But in this chapter, I want to dig deeper into the idea of the reality of negative experiences, more particularly, negative emotions such as sadness,

Nothing around it became less as a result.

The result of which, we get night and day, seasons, and gravity. If she didn’t know what she was doing, we’d freeze up or fry up or fall off planet earth.

if we’ve been equipped with not only the ability to feel excitement, joy, and love, but also the ability to experience sadness, anger, and fear, maybe there’s

a reason. Maybe these “negative” emotions aren’t the enemy. Maybe they serve a purpose. And maybe, just maybe,

Each time you push down a negative feeling like anger or sadness, you haven’t made it go away. All you’ve done is made it go deeper inside.

So many of us are surrounding ourselves with positive sayings and affirmations on the outside, feeling like crap on the inside.

We have come to believe we are tough and strong by covering up and ignoring our wounds. Denial is not helping you.

You’re better off acknowledging how you feel, allowing space for it, and letting it flow through you.

There is nothing more empowering and confidence boosting than feeling capable of solving our problems and moving our lives in a better direction.

Fighting against your emotions and beating yourself up for feeling them takes a crapload of energy.

Your first step is to acknowledge there is nothing wrong with you if you experience negative emotions. I’m not saying become a martyr and hang out on Negativity Avenue. You don’t want to stay there. What you want to do is not fight it. What you want to do is not judge yourself as failing at life because there are days when you cry or want to throat punch people. Give yourself permission to feel what you genuinely feel, absent of judgment. You will discover something

My father passed away a few years ago, and my mother had been living alone in my childhood home which is about twenty minutes from me. She recently sold her home and moved 12 hours away. It was a good move and the right one for her. It sucked for me. I had to let go of having her near me, which was the case my entire life. It was hard to say goodbye to my mother. I know she’s still alive, and I can call her on the phone and talk with her. I am grateful for all that. It still ripped my heart out.

Don’t deny your negative feelings. Alchemize them. You have this incredible power to transform the crap in your life into gold . . . in a very literal sense.

Empower yourself to receive the benefit.

Positive thinking is fabulous. Positive action is even better. Ask yourself what step, what action can you take today, right now, to move yourself

closer to how you want to feel and what you want to experience.

It’s important for you to understand closer is go...

Sometimes reaching for a little better is exactly what you need, because anyone can reach for a little better.

Happiness is about being confident in your ability to creatively solve your challenges and achieve your goals.

It’s not only important to give yourself permission to be sad or afraid or pissed off, it’s also important to give that permission to others as well.

allow people you care about to wallow in self-pity.

strongly believe we’re better off not putting on a happiness mask all the time and acknowledge that being human is sometimes messy and unfair.

You are neither flawed nor weak because you feel sad, afraid, or angry.

Putting on a fake smile or positive front you don’t genuinely feel doesn’t heal you at the source.

The meaning is an act of creation on your part. And for every minute, sleepless night, year, or decade you’ve spent wondering your purpose here on earth. This is it . . . the meaning you attach and the subsequent action you take as a result of your pain.

brave. Explore the dark caverns of what you’ve spent enormous amounts of time and energy wishing away or hating.

Within you is destiny waiting to be born.

There’s another equally powerful prerequisite that has a massive impact on your happiness, confidence, and enjoyment of life, and that is your perspective on and responses you choose to the challenges you face.

There are unfair and unfortunate circumstances and actions of others, and then there is your choice in how they affect you and what you do with them.

get that you’ve been hurt and have every right to feel the way you do.

the exact moment two microscopic organisms came together, the entire code was written to build you. All the information needed to grow the unique person that you are, existed at conception.

Stop and think about that for a second.

Regardless of what God you pray to or none at all, the truth of the matter is there is an intelligence at work beyond our comprehension.

his powerful book Emergence2, Derek Rydall makes a convincing case for the above using an oak tree as an example. Let’s explore this for a minute, because the fact of the matter is the same brilliance that wrote your code, wrote the code for a bulldog, a goldfish, and a parsnip.

All along, you’ve resented your troubles, road-blocks, and all the “unfair” crap life has thrown your way. Dig in, baby. You have strong-ass roots and are only a few new insights away from a major, kick-ass growth spurt.

Everything you need to live out your fullest potential comes from you, not to you. Your deepest desires are not things you need to attract, achieve, or get, or for that matter, even worry if they’ll ever materialize.

You are perfectly made, brilliant, and loaded with infinite potential.

can . . . a roaring, raging, hormonal, imbalanced, hangry bitch!