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“You get to watch Die Hard again for the first time. I’m almost jealous of you.”
I frown. “Now you sound like Frances.” “That’s just harsh.”
burgundy and maroon.”
“So glad my trauma amuses you.”
Iris watches us with interest. “She misses him. Sometimes our hearts are wiser than our heads.”
“At the heart, romance is about hope, and that’s what keeps us going, dear. The eternal quest to improve ourselves, our lives, our world.”
Oral hygiene has never been so erotic.
Gordy wanders out of the room right after me. At the sight of Ed, his tail happily yet sleepily wags back and forth. “Are you letting him crash on the futon with you?” Ed asks amid much white froth. “Clem?” “No.” “Liar.”
“Men just follow wherever their dicks lead them and his is like a compass needle when it comes to you.”
How do you decide who goes which way so no one’s nose gets broken?” “If you’re going in so hard that someone’s liable to break something, you’re probably doing it wrong. Especially given your medical condition. No one should require a crash helmet to kiss.”
He smiles back. “Kissing, yes or no?” “Ah, yeah. Nice.” “Nice?” he asks, sneering ever so slightly. “You don’t like nice?” “It’s your first kiss. I wanted to do a little better than nice.” “It was very pleasant. I think I’d like to do it again sometime. If you’re amenable, of course.” “You’re killing me.” He laughs. “What about the spending time together part?” “Well, Ed, I would be delighted to hang out with you.” “Glad to hear it.”
“That was just good old-fashioned cock-blocking. It’s pretty much the only enjoyable part of being a sibling.”
Perhaps next time they’ll just send me a sternly worded letter.” “Glad you’ve still got your sense of humor, but I’m not ready to laugh about this yet.” Iris, however, is good to go. “A sonnet expressing their displeasure, perhaps?” “Maybe a cutting limerick?” She grins with glee. “How about an abrasive haiku?” “A bad fortune cookie?”
“Maybe you should put your shirt back on.” “Why? This is still sort of slow,” lies my lying tongue. “It’s really not, baby.”
How previous me ever left him is beyond me. I honestly feel a little bad for the girl. No wonder she was apparently so heartbroken. To lose Ed in all his wondrousness would be a terrible thing.
“Why do you get to be the prince and I’m only the girl?”
Honestly, I’d high-five myself if I thought I could get away with it without him noticing.
“Hmph. The best form of defense is attack.”
Gordy’s tail beats against my legs. He’s counting on me to get him some of the bacon. Not that he doesn’t love me, but bacon.
“All right. He’s worse than an old man, then.” “And ageist.” “I’m not going to win here, am I?” “No.”
You’re trying to make me look bad in front of the ladies.” “It doesn’t take much.” His brother flips him the bird.
“And I get your smile. The real one where your eyes get kind of lit up and it just . . . damn. Let’s say I like it a lot.”
“We’re doing makeup?” I ask. “Girl, Ed gave me his card. We’re doing everything.”
Does my dog make you nervous?” I bump Gordy’s butt with my knee, wishing he’d mount some kind of protective display. Growl even. But his tail just wags a little and he snuffles more deeply at the fence. Worst. Dog. Ever.
The good boy does not come. Should have put the leash on him after all. Ed would give me such a lecture for yet again not maintaining strict doggy protocol.
“Thought you were happy to have me back,” I say. “Clementine, my darling, I was delighted until I realized how cranky convalescing has made you.”
It’s amazing how insecurities can tear us apart.
