The Thief Who Spat In Luck's Good Eye (Amra Thetys, #2)

by Michael McClung

when he lead an expedition there.”

led

my narrow, wooden stairs

The first of so very, very many coordinate commas between adjectives that are not coordinate.

drew out a short length of red yarn, and lay it

laid (another frequent error)

rust-red, stone columns

yanked Holgren fully out of the jungle and lay him on his side.

squirm her way out of death, Your Grace.”

“As you wish, your grace.”

Inconsistent capitalisation.

on this very altar, she lay me,

one of my principle aspects,

principal

Raw-throated and full of panic, I still knew Holgren’s voice

Dangling modifier.

it tended to diffuse all the railing at him

defuse

a large, stone bowl

a great, gray, stone hall

that hellish, twilight world.

It had left its sword in its brethren.

brother

one of the creature’s swords

creatures'

shaky and weak’ and

the cold, stone floor

A tiny, golden flame

the massive, black double doors.

great, inky tendrils

A long, black, whip-like tongue

smoky, black orbs

great, black orbs

Holgren abused me of the notion.

disabused

lay it down

the slick, stone quay

First thing’s first.

No apostrophe in this phrase.

different front your normal state

from

glassy, black stone

glowing, green light

eerie, green light

small, crystal glasses.

glassy, black block

His sister may have betrayed him,

might

a low, stone wall

She let a couple of tears escape though she smiled that serene smile all the while.

One of many examples of a subordinate clause not introduced by a comma, as it ought to be (for clarity, if nothing else).

Her eyes were the same as her brothers now:

brother's

long, black hair

generous, pink mouth

great, red furrows

massive, carved handles.

I lay Holgren down

Its nature should not be proof to your

proof against

“The rod leaches your power away

leeches

you can stream right into someone’s mind

scream

pale, linen breechcloths

huge, bronze shields

long, bronze-tippe...

a silent, white blanket.