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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Julie Zhuo
Read between
January 18 - January 29, 2023
how is he feeling on the whole?
It’s helpful for both manager and report to think through the topics they want to bring to the 1:1 conversation.
Too often, attempts to “help” aren’t actually helpful, even when served with the best of intentions.
When we are going through tough times, the thing that’s often the most helpful isn’t advice or answers but empathy.
“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.
Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”
“One of my personal growth areas this half is …” “I’m afraid I don’t know enough to help you with that problem. Here’s someone you should
“Remember that you have good values.”
Recognition for hard work, valuable skills, helpful advice, or good values can be hugely motivating if it feels genuine and specific.
they discover what is unique about each person and then capitalize on
“The job of a manager … is to turn one person’s particular talent into performance.”
defines an asshole as someone who makes other people feel worse about themselves or who specifically targets people less powerful than him or her.6
You can and should hold the bar high for collaboration. These
“What I think is brutal and ‘false kindness’7 is keeping people around who aren’t going to grow and prosper.
“Perhaps it’s you who shouldn’t be his manager, not the other way around.”
feedback inspired you to change your behavior, which resulted in your life getting better.
Praise is often more motivating than criticism.
Clear Expectations at the Beginning
feedback process should begin before any work does. At that point, you should agree on what success looks
What a great job looks like for your report, compared to a mediocre or bad job What advice you have to help your report get started
on the right foot Common pitfalls your report should avoid
everyone feels like their point of view is well represented, and a decision is made.
you provide this kind of feedback about something that someone did after the fact.
you’re showing that you want to help her reach her goal.
explicit that you’d like to review the work twice a week and talk through the most important
helps people recover from errors with grace.
Where did I miss out on setting clear expectations, and how might I do better in the future?
Does my feedback lead to the change I’m hoping for?
The best way to make your feedback heard is to make the listener feel safe,
approach it with a sense of curiosity and an honest desire to understand your report’s perspective.
One simple way to do this is to state your point directly
“Does this feedback resonate with you? Wh...
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let’s make sure we’re on the same page—what are your takeaways and next steps?”
second is to summarize via email what was discussed. Writing
Clarify what success looks and feels like.
the easiest way to help your report translate your feedback into action is to share what you think the next steps should be.
beware of overdoing this—if you’re always dictating what should happen next, you’re not empowering
“So what do you think the next steps should be?”
Given what we just talked about, what are your next steps?
have a few questions about your latest work—do you have a moment to walk me through it?
The best advice for prevention? Don’t engage when you are upset.
At best, framing your worries as questions feels disingenuous, and at worst, your report will miss that you’re actually concerned, which means nothing will change.
When I [heard/observed/reflected on] your [action/behavior/output], I felt concerned because … I’d like to understand your perspective and talk about how we can resolve this.
When you give feedback or make a decision, your report may not agree with it.
“I recognize that you may not agree with my decision, but I’m asking for your cooperation in moving forward.”
picture myself at eighty, sitting on a beach and looking back on my life.
a highly personal journey, and if you don’t have a good handle on yourself, you won’t have a good handle on how to best support your team.
get deep with knowing you—your strengths, your values, your comfort zones, your blind spots, and your biases.
I need time alone to reflect and process new facts before forming an opinion.
long-term thinking, which means that I sometimes make impractical short-term decisions.
