The Third Realm (Ten Realms, #3)

by Michael Chatfield

“I see another bunch of ingredients. I’ll just quickly harvest them.” “Is this going to become a thing?” Rugrat asked. “A thing?” Erik asked, a trowel in one hand as he walked over to the patch of ingredients. “Nevermind, it already is.”

“Momma Rodriguez used to say, do what they tell you, unless it sounds dumb. Then get the hell out of there. If you don’t, then I’ll beat the hell out of you and your commanding officer,” Rugrat said.

“Ahh fuck!” Ricky complained. Niemm looked over to see that Ricky was covered in ink as Hayley had used him as a shield, staying clean. “Black suits you,” she said, holding two thumbs up. Ricky returned the gesture but with two different fingers.

Don’t get me wrong—sitting in a bath of poison sounds badass, but it smells just like you’ve swam through an ocean of sewage and dear God, you have to warn someone when you fart afterward!” “Always about farting with you.” Erik sighed. “I’m a simple man with a sense of taste and smell. I’d like to keep that.”

“Why you have to look at me first? I am part owner, too!” “You’re also a marine, so don’t touch anything!”

We did some with the homes we have now, but they’re looking to reduce energy costs so that people don’t have to pay such a high Mana bill,” Egbert said. “And here I was thinking I got away from paying my hydro bill,” Matt grumbled. “Means hot showers and toilets that flush,” Erik said. “Sign me up!” Matt said, suddenly struck with emotion at having hot water on tap. “Some people have been making the bidets that Rugrat was talking about.” “There really is a God!” Matt said, his emotions building as he looked away to make sure no tears leaked out.

Egbert looked at Erik. “You’re missing out, dude. Bidets—like a god’s sparkly cleaning refreshment of your undercarriage.”

This is totally true. The best gift India gave me was expecting bidets, even in public toilets...