The Wrong Game (Love of the Game, #1)

by Kandi Steiner

All this time, I’d been so focused on me, on not getting my heart broken again. I hadn’t even considered that I could do the same to Zach.

“I like you, Gemma. A lot. I care about you, I want you to succeed, I want to hang out with you all the time. I want to introduce you to everyone I love because I want them to know how amazing you are, too. I want to watch football with you and take you to fancy dinners and make memories I’ll never forget, even if this doesn’t work out in the end.”

I hadn’t had anyone then, but I had Gemma now. And that was what I held onto as I drifted off to sleep.

“I love when you do that,” he whispered. “Do what?” “Exist.”

I trusted Zach. I trusted him to care for me, to let me care for him, to let me in on the hard days and to be there for all of mine. I wasn’t supposed to ever fall in love again. I wasn’t ever supposed to let someone inside my damaged, charred, cold and empty heart. But he’d somehow found a way.

My heart broke in that moment, but not for me. For her. For this beautiful, amazing, intelligent, strong and resilient woman who had gone through something no one in this life ever should have to. She thought she was scaring me away. She thought I’d run. I only wanted to hold her tighter.

Gemma turned, leaving me to watch her go, powerless to keep her or convince her that what we had was enough — that it could be what she’s always wanted, if she only gave it the chance. All I could do was stay. All I could do was let her go.

I wanted to hold her hand and love her through it all. I wanted to be a part of her healing, let her know she didn’t have to go at it alone. But, I couldn’t choose me for her. I had to let her go. I just didn’t know how to.

I was so scared of him… and part of me still was. But, the difference now was that I was ready to face that fear with him. I was ready to try, to risk everything — because even though I said I didn’t, I trusted him. I just hoped he trusted me, too.

Our past has a funny way of becoming part of who we are in the future, and I think that’s the way it’s meant to be. Without the scars, without the pain, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the times when everything is magical — the days when life is absolute bliss. And trust me when I say that every day I’ve spent with you has been just that — magic.”

“This time, I want the real thing. No more practice. Let’s play for keeps.” Zach smiled, lowering his lips to mine and pausing right when they touched. “I always was.” And then, he kissed me.

All I knew was that kiss sealed a promise neither one of us could speak out loud, because neither one of us could vow to keep it. We knew the risk we were taking, we knew the leap we were making, but we were holding each other’s hands and doing it anyway. He could leave. I could leave. We could both end up heartbroken, sitting on the floor of our souls and trying to piece together our lives again. But, we could also find forever. We could take the next steps together — toward a year, five, or maybe, forever. And that was a game worth playing.

I grabbed Zach’s hand, squeezing it as our eyes met. And that’s when I realized that it was the same for us. We were in it together, no matter what was to come, and we would fight for the win. For each other.

The game was finally over. The score was finally set. In the end, we both lost a little, but we both walked away wearing those scars with pride. We ended that game with our heads held high, and with my hand in his as the cab took us across town and back to my place. “I told you I’d be the right winner in the end,” he said, pressing a kiss to my neck. “I think we both won.”

He was everything I’d ever wanted in my life. It was hard to believe how much he’d changed me, opened me, shown me how to trust and how to face my fears. He’d made me feel more loved than I ever had in my entire life in just one short year, and I hoped there would be many more to come.

“No one has ever meant more to me in my entire life than you do, Gemma. And I don’t just want this game, or the next game, or the game after that. I want all the games. And all the seasons. From now until forever, whether we win or we lose.”

I kissed him again, and this time, I held that kiss like it was the final seal on my promise to give him my forever. Through all the games, through all the heartache, I think I knew I always would.

As long as Zach was there beside me watching each one, for this year and next year and all the years to come, the score didn’t matter at all. Because if I was in his arms, I was always winning. And it was the sweetest victory of them all.