The Wrong Game (Love of the Game, #1)

by Kandi Steiner

My particular brand of anxiety was having an ungodly amount of stress over that which I could not control.

I finally got my wish, a chance to stare at him a little longer, and boy, was he fun to stare at.

“You were going to lay him out and get thrown out of the home opener game just to defend my honor.” “You upset about it?” Gemma paused, eyes bouncing between mine like she was trying to find answers to some question she hadn’t even asked yet. “No,” she finally said. “I’m a little surprised by it, though.”

Now I had a plan, too. There was a fat chance in hell that I’d let Benjamin get my girl. Yeah, I’d only had one night with her but I felt that kind of possessiveness, anyway. I wasn’t done with Gemma. I was far from it.

“They have those seats, too. Remember?” Zach said, and when I was facing him again, he shrugged. “And they wanted to help.” “Help what exactly?” “Help me get the girl. Obviously.”

She liked me. She might not want to admit it, and she clearly didn’t want to submit to it. But, I wasn’t alone in my feelings for her.

Belle’s eyes shot to me as a roar of anger and jealousy ripped through me like wildfire.

I knew I’d take the torture. I knew I’d go to that game tomorrow and sit beside her, and try to be around her in whatever capacity she’d let me — simply because I wanted her that bad. Fucking pathetic.

What I’m asking is, do you still want her?” My chest tightened, a flash of her smile assaulting me like the answer I already knew I had. “I want her. I want to fight for her.”

She was like a Rubik’s Cube in a blind man’s hand — impossible to figure out. And yet I was the blind man determined to try.

I didn’t want to have to do it this way. If it were up to me, I would have just taken Gemma out to dinner, or to a movie, or to the freaking zoo. I would have made it clear to her that she was the only girl I was interested in, and that she could trust me not to hurt her.

It wasn’t my favorite way to tackle things, but it was my last-ditch effort to win over Gemma Mancini, and that meant it was all or nothing. Game time.

“Girl problems, huh?” Gemma teased. “Bet you were such a little heartbreaker in high school.” “More like I was the one getting my heart broken,” I argued. “I wanted a girlfriend so bad, but apparently I was too much for girls that age.”

Zach made me feel safe, he made me feel comfortable. It was like he knew all my biggest fears and how to handle them before I’d even told him.

“Thank you. I know it was a little out of nowhere and a little crazy but…” “It’s not crazy,” he corrected. “And you don’t have to thank me. Any time you feel like that, you just call me, okay? Anytime. I’m always here to talk. Always.” Always.

But, she was right, I didn’t have to figure it out tonight. Tonight, I would hold Gemma, and listen to her breathing. I’d feel her heartbeat against my skin, and I’d find comfort in the fact that no matter what I chose to do, she was here. She came. She listened. She understood. She was here, with me, in one of the darkest nights I’d known since I found out Micah had cancer when I was only eighteen years old.

“I love when you do that,” he whispered. “Do what?” “Exist.”

right then, in that moment, I decided I wasn’t going to let fear rule me anymore. My anxiety stemmed from not being in control, and it was true — I couldn’t control what would happen next. I wanted an insurance policy, but that wasn’t the way life worked.

Even though it was scary as hell, even though I knew I could end up on the cold, hard floor again, I still chose to try again.

“I’m just saying that, yeah, love hurts. But life without it?” I shook my head. “It isn’t worth living.”

“If-if-if,” she mimicked. “If he leaves, or you leave, if one of you changes your mind and this whole thing goes down in flames? Well, at least you tried. And at least you got to feel the kind of love most people dream about. At least, for even a few short steps in this life, you got to have someone walking beside you — someone holding your hand and caring whether or not you’re okay.” She swallowed. “That alone is worth the risk.”

“Everything that feels as amazing as love does?” Dad said, shaking his head. “It comes with risk, Zach. So yeah, if you’re not willing to take some risks, to hang off the ledge with that girl, then don’t go. But if you are, and if she is — which, judging by her being brave enough to come here and ask you to join her at the game, she is — then, who knows.” He clapped my shoulder and squeezed it hard. “Just might be something amazing, something worth fighting for. But you won’t know if you don’t trust it. You won’t know if you don’t try.”

Now, it was hard to even remember what it was like, back when I saw Zach as a nuisance, as someone I needed to avoid, as my trial run. I was so scared of him… and part of me still was. But, the difference now was that I was ready to face that fear with him.

I know the same thing is true for me now that was true after that very first game.” “And what’s that?” He smiled, pressing his forehead to mine. “I can’t walk away from you. Not yet. Maybe not ever.”

“This time, I want the real thing. No more practice. Let’s play for keeps.” Zach smiled, lowering his lips to mine and pausing right when they touched. “I always was.”

that’s when I realized that it was the same for us. We were in it together, no matter what was to come, and we would fight for the win. For each other. Until the last whistle blew.

I turned, ready to jump into Zach’s arms, but when I spun around, he wasn’t standing behind me. He was kneeling. And suddenly, everything faded away. The roar of the crowd was dull and muted, the breeze nonexistent, the adrenaline rushing through me stopping altogether like my entire body had forgotten how to function at the sight of the man I loved bent on one knee.