Surprisingly Down to Earth, and Very Funny: My Autobiography

by Limmy

When I think back to primary school, I have this memory of me always feeling different. I’ve always felt a bit different. I’ve always had this feeling that everybody else knows what they’re doing. Back in primary, I had this feeling like I’d missed a day. Not just a normal day where they taught you how to read or write, but where they taught you something else, something more important. Something you should know before any of that. It’s something that I can’t put into words. It’s just fucking … something. I didn’t really think I’d missed a day, it was just a feeling. But there were times where there really were things that I didn’t know and everybody else knew, as if I really had missed a day, when I hadn’t. Like, there was a song we used to sing, and everybody seemed to know the words except me.

Sometimes when things are going well for me I don’t appreciate it at the time. I worry too much, or I take it for granted. It’s only later, when things aren’t as good, or when the worry is no longer an issue, that I look back and think, ‘Christ, that was a good time, that. I wish I could go back and enjoy it more.’ But I remember being aware of how much I was enjoying it while it was happening. I remember thinking, ‘This isn’t a rose-tinted memory. I’m enjoying this right here and fucking now. This is the life.’