Can't Text This (Texting, #3)

by Teagan Hunter

“Is Uncle Zach dying?” Xavie calls out from the living room. “We hope so! I think I’m in his will.” “Yay, money!” Laughter bursts out of Zach and water covers the counter. “What in the hell are you teaching your child?” I shrug, grabbing a new towel and cleaning up the mess. “I don’t know where he gets that shit.”

“Who you texting, Dad?” “Business.” “Business?” “Yeah, none of yours.”

Monty: Hi Robert Cross. I’m Montana Andrews. Even though you’ve already had your tongue down my throat and your hand up my skirt, it’s nice to officially meet you. Me: Likewise, Montana.

“Um, allow me to chime in here right quick.” Zach points to Xavie. “You are not allowed to stay here…ever. Not again.” Xavie’s bottom lip begins to tremble. “W-Why not?” “Because you shat on my bed, that’s why.” “I sharted!” “I know!” Zach hollers back. “And it got all over my bed.” “I didn’t do it on purpose!” “No one sharts on purpose, Xavie. No one.” “What if I promise not to shart again?” It takes everything Zach has not to laugh. I can tell by the way his lips are twitching and his eyes are beginning to crinkle around the edges.

Me: I have two things to say to you, Monts. You ready? Me: #1, it didn’t work. Whatever we did last night, it didn’t fucking work. I’m still thinking about you, and I’m gonna need more—a whole hell of a lot more. Me: #2, you can run, but we’re not done. THIS isn’t done. We clear? Monty: We’re clear.