Fleishman Is in Trouble

by Taffy Brodesser-Akner

At first, he told the kids he was on “appointments” when he had a date that was coinciding with their night with him. But Hannah began asking questions about what kind of appointments kept happening on Saturday nights, and why he had to change his clothes for them. “Are you going to get married again?” “I don’t think so,” he said. “Once might have been enough for me.” He always told Solly and her the same thing: “I go on playdates sometimes, just like you do. I will tell you when there is someone you should know. That person will be someone you like. I am lonely and I am making new friends, and not all of them will be my girlfriends, but some may be girls who are friends.” “Your mom will eventually have playdates, too,” he told them. “Will they be with doctors?” Solly asked. “No, they’ll be with people who are different from me. They’ll be with a man named Brad who has a Porsche and wears boat shoes and really wants to come to your soccer game.” The kids laughed. “Now: Who am I going to date?” And they responded in unison, as he’d trained them to over the course of the many times this question came up: “Someone we will like!” “And who will Mom date?” he asked. Again, in unison: “A man named Brad who has a Porsche and wears boat shoes and really wants to come to my soccer game.” Solly could never finish that last part because he was always laughing too hard by then. It even got a smile out of Hannah. “You’ll like him, too, when it happens,” Toby said, though he didn’t think...