I smoked then. I had started smoking in Israel. My mother smoked my whole life; I was never going to do it. But when I was twenty, I figured it was okay to finally try one, since I was clearly out of the danger zone of addiction. Well, who could have predicted that they would be so delicious and gratifying? (Yes, I know.) Who would have seen so clearly that my fidgeting all these years was just me waiting to discover cigarettes? Cigarettes really got me. Cigarettes were the thing my fingers and mouth had been looking for since maybe birth.
