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But you can’t live your entire life for one moment. And the crash from that impossible height hurts.
But the dark will always find a way in.
“Anyone who sneers at love hasn’t experienced true pleasure and is talking out of his arse.”
“No. Limes do not carry the sour taste of jealousy.”
HAaaahhahaahaha witty
“I’ve lived a long while,” she says thoughtfully, “and what I’ve learned is there are people who never make mistakes. They never put their foot in it, always act perfectly. My dear, I don’t trust those people an inch.” A shocked laugh escapes me. “Because they’re nice?” “Because no one who lives honestly is perfect all the time. Those perfect people? They’re often living a lie. A tidy public persona to hide behind.”
“There is no such thing as perfect. Human beings make mistakes. Humans who feel greatly often make the biggest ones. It’s the intent that counts. Is it a mistake based on hate, selfishness, or moral cowardice? Give them no quarter. But an honest mistake backed by a true heart is another matter entirely.”
Forgive the small blunders. Don’t lose out on something due to pride.”
My want of her isn’t just physical; it is soul deep.
But how do I expose my soul, as flawed as it is, and have any hope that she’d want me too?
That's a risk everyone is afraid to take
attraction is a shallow emotion that can easily fade,
We are all fools in love.’”
“Invest in a good set of kneepads. I predict a lot of groveling in your future
Hahahahaha
“Yep. Kind. The person you call when you’re sinking and need a hand to hold onto because you know they’ll show up.”
said that because I wanted to be close to you and am too emotionally stunted to man up to it. There isn’t anyone I want to be around more than you. You occupy my thoughts, haunt my dreams. I can no more stay away from you than I can try to keep my heart from beating.”
Oh hell this is too fast im getting anxious
“She isn’t broken, Jax. Just sick.”
Am I... The same?
Doesn’t matter; he stays. He stays, and he has no idea what that means to me.
“We live in a world where people greet each other with ‘How are you?’ But few of us actually want an answer. It’s kind of hilarious if you think about it. We don’t really want to know how someone else is doing, but we want to look as though we do.”
“Most people have a dream they’re trying to achieve, a goal in life that keeps them going. I’ve done what I wanted to do. I’ve reached my pinnacle. I had nothing left, nothing to strive for. The knowledge of that hit me and I was left staring into an abyss. And the darkness swallowed me up. “And all I could think was, who the fuck am I? I felt like a lie, and then all this … ugliness started pouring in—telling me I was unlovable, unworthy, a fake—until I felt so dirty and trapped in my own skin that I couldn’t stand it. And there was no way out.”
I didn’t want to go. Not really. I just wanted to feel okay.
I feel like crying
“Stella doesn’t talk. She gets even.”
Because when I’m low, I don’t want to be the one seeking out company. I want someone to find me, to tell me I’m wanted, needed. And when I don’t get that, I sink lower.
She said it’s an endurance race. You endure. You keep moving forward. But some days, Stella … Some days I get so fucking tired.” “Then rest,” I whisper. “Rest with me. Let me be where you lay your head for a while.”
don’t want you to see me that way. As someone who needs minding. Someone to fix.”
“Stella Button, you annoy the hell out of me sometimes, but I like that you’re willing to fight my battles. Even if you’re fighting me while doing it.”
“I won’t fall in love with you, Stells.”
“You didn’t need me before. Now you do.” “You’re wrong if you think I didn’t need you before.”
“Be with me. Let’s fall together, Button.”
“You said you weren’t going to fall in love.” His gaze moves over my face before meeting my eyes. “I walked out on you that night because I knew that if I could fall for anyone, it would be for you.” John rests his forehead against mine, and his lids lower. “I’ve never been in love. The idea of it scares the shit out of me, and I keep telling myself all the reasons we shouldn’t be together. But when I’m actually faced with walking away? After what we did on the couch? No.” He shakes his head. “Fuck no. I can’t do it. I want to try with you.”
False humility is way more annoying and conceited.”
“Let yourself be loved, Stella Button. You deserve it.”
One form of success doesn’t guarantee other forms,
We can’t protect the ones we love; we can only let them know we’ll be there to pick them up when they fall.
“Stella Button, the moment you ripped that ice cream out of my hand, you knocked me off-balance. All I could do was fall.”
The walls are closing in on me, shadows swarming on the edges of my mind. I know those shadows, this feeling. For years, I’ve tried to repress this fear when it arrives, but I’ve never been able to fully holster it. And for the first time in a long while, I’m scared. Because nothing good ever comes when I lose control.
“I cannot chase you,” I say woodenly. God, the pain keeps growing. The hurt. “I’ve chased down people who were supposed to love me all my life. I can’t do that anymore.” A fist of feeling lodges itself behind my breastbone, and I swallow hard. “I shouldn’t have to.”
The pain of depression is one thing. Depression is inertia, self-doubt. This is another torture; it is loss and regret. I’m off-kilter, cold along the edges of my arms and back. This is a twitchy need to keep moving, to do something—anything—or I’ll start to scream.
“How do you make new friends? It isn’t that easy. When you’re older, you’re less able to trust new people or let yourself go.”
“I fucked up. The guys fucked up. We are the ones who let you down. It’s no different if you had a broken leg and we let you limp along.”
“It wasn’t a matter of letting her in. It was accepting that she was already there and going with it.”
her to understand, but she deserves straight honesty. “I don’t need you to fix me, Stella. I need you for everything else. I need your smiles, your laughter. I need you to be my best friend, my lover, my all. I need to take care of you, touch your skin, make you dinner, give you pleasure whenever you’re in need.” I lean in, emotion clogging my throat. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I’d happily spend the rest of my life trying to be the best thing that has ever happened to you too.”
“Is being with you worth living with the fear of eventually losing you?”
“I want everything with you, Stells. Everything and anything. You want kids, we’ll have kids. If you don’t, then we’ll have each other alone. That we are together is what matters.” His grip tightens. “That is my dream. You and me. It’s what gives me peace.”
