Fireworks (True North, #6)

by Sarina Bowen

For a split second, my heart soars. Thank you, Jesus. I’ve gone twelve years without knowing where she was, or whether she’s okay. On any given day of the last decade I would have given anything for the chance to hold her. Or, hell, just sit in the woods and talk with her.

Back then, my whole world orbited around this man. Even now I feel my world tilt subtly in his direction. He has his own gravitational pull. And he looks…devastated. For a split second I see hurt in his eyes when he looks at me. And then I blink and it’s gone. His face is impassive.

Stunned, I’d watched her approach, wondering if she was even real. She hadn’t seen me, but even before I opened my mouth to warn her not to trip over me, my heart spoke up. Mine, it had said. And I’d been pretty much gone for her from that day forward.

“It’s no trouble, okay? Jesus.” It is for me, I realize. Seeing him again actually hurts. It’s like a dull ache right at my breastbone. You’d think twelve years would be enough to get over someone, but you’d be wrong. And the worst part is that I thought I was over him. I don’t walk around New York brooding about the boy who stood me up when I was a teenager.

What’s the statute of limitations on heartache? I don’t think mine is over.

“Loved playing for you. Also, I needed something to do with my hands.” He strums again. “Why?” He laughs, and makes a chord change. “Horny eighteen-year-old boy sitting close to the prettiest girl in Vermont? I spent every night trying not to reach for you. The ukulele gave me something else to focus on. And I needed that. Badly.”

When I wake up to see Skye beside me in the bed, all I can do is smile. How many times have I slept alone, wishing she was there? Too many. “Hi,” she whispers, blinking at me. “Hi honey,” I rasp.

“How come you’re the only single Rossi?” Her blue eyes study me. Because I was waiting for you.

His confidence is enough for both of us, somehow.

“What’s the matter?” he whispers immediately. “Nothing,” I say in an almost normal voice. “I’m just…” I clear my throat. “You were right.” “About what?” His hand lands on my bare back, where it caresses me. “When I was sixteen, I wasn’t ready for this.” I’d thought I wanted it. But I don’t think I was capable of a sexual relationship that was healthy for both of us. “Yeah,” he says softly, his fingertips tracing my backbone. “I loved you, though. If Gage wasn’t there to make your life a living hell, I don’t know what might have been.”

“Having really good sex with someone who loves you?” Skye turns sharply, her blue eyes wide with surprise. “Benny,” she whispers. “What? I’m not supposed to say that? Sorry, honey. Some things are true whether it’s convenient or not.”

And Five—I loved you from the first day I met you. That’s never going away.”

There’s some work to do there, but I like a challenge. If I’m patient, I can make her realize that a second chance is a rare and special thing. There are obstacles—jobs and lives. But those things could work themselves out. There’s no way I’m letting Skye walk out of my life a second time. It’s not happening.

“I’ll call you in a couple of hours, no matter what,” I promise. “I just want one kiss before I go.” “Here?” she asks weakly. “Yeah. A goodbye kiss. People do it all the time.” I reach up and cup the side of her face, my thumb tracing her pale eyebrow. “Just a quick one. It’ll have to tide me over until I can kiss you everywhere later tonight.”

“Okay, when I think dirty thoughts about you, I really mean that they’re raw. Unfiltered. And when I use that word in bed I mean…unguarded. Whatever crazy thing I want is just for the two of us. It’s not bad, it’s just not fit for anyone else’s eyes. Just yours.”

“You missed something very important.” “What?” It’s hard to miss my pathetic bank balance. “That I need you, too.”

“I need you near me. I need to come home to you every night, eat dinner in my kitchen, and hear about your day. I want you in my bed, and in my life.”

“If you have a really excellent, life-changing reason why that can’t happen in Vermont, I’ll listen. I’ll relocate. But a short term cash-flow problem isn’t a good enough reason, Skye.”