It all goes according to plan until I jump the fence. Some idiot fuckstain put a pile of trash on the other side. It’d be fine, except the trash isn’t wrapped up in neat little bags. Nope, nothing but flimsy cardboard boxes. I stagger out of the alley with a foul, rotten milk slush clinging to my jeans. A patch of coffee grounds and partially dried spaghetti sticks to my shin. But it’s the used condom stuck to the bottom of my shoe that really adds class to the whole thing.
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