The Last

by Hanna Jameson

‘Why are you like this? It’s like you took your doctorate in being a dweeb.’ ‘At least I finished mine.’ ‘I think the end of the world counts as mitigating circumstances.’

‘You’re so annoying. If you’re the last person I speak to before I die, I’ll be so pissed.’

was shocked by the number of people who attempted to live tweet their experience of the end of the world,

History had ended, and I was standing here in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by strangers, eating free cookies,

‘Has nuclear war been as bad as you thought it would be?’ I paused. ‘Huh. No, I guess it hasn’t been as bad as I imagined.’

‘Fair, really. Didn’t wanna stay here with some twat who doesn’t like “Wonderwall” anyway.’

The airwaves were dead.

‘What is even the point in being the only doctor if you can’t be high most of the time?’ ‘Atrocious behavior. Can I have another?’

‘Oh, nothing much. You know, went out to the city, came back, tried not to die a bunch of times.’

‘Existing isn’t everything.’

You vanish for ten years after having a bad acid trip and then sacrifice a girl to save the world?’

Because we looked like a man who had almost been drowned and a man who had just committed a murder and two men who had stolen a dog.

Nadia had replied to my message, and it said: ‘Please don’t try to come back.’