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June 15 - July 5, 2023
Love must shift from an extrapersonal experience to a peripersonal one—from pursuit to possession; from something we anticipate to something we have to take care of.
Glamour is present when we see things that stimulate our dopaminergic imagination, drowning out our ability to accurately perceive here-and-now reality.
Those with higher levels of dopamine want to climb it, explore it, conquer it. But they can’t, because it doesn’t exist. The mountain itself exists. But the imagined experience of being on it is impossible to achieve.
Glamour is a lie.
Dopamine, the molecule of surprise, had been harnessed, and the scientific foundation of the slot machine was born.
When it comes to love, the loss of passionate romance will always happen eventually, and then comes a choice. We can transition to a love that’s fed by a day-to-day appreciation of that other person in the here and now, or we can end the relationship and go in search of another roller coaster ride.
The dopamine motto is “More.”
To enjoy the things we have, as opposed to the things that are only possible, our brains must transition from future-oriented dopamine to present-oriented chemicals, a collection of neurotransmitters we call the Here and Now molecules, or the H&Ns. Most people have heard of the H&Ns. They include serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins (your brain’s version of morphine), and a class of chemicals called endocannabinoids (your brain’s version of marijuana).
It’s not easy to say farewell to the dopaminergic thrill of new partners and passionate longing, but the ability to do so is a sign of maturity, and a step toward long-lasting happiness.
The sensation of wanting is not a choice you make. It is a reaction to the things you encounter.
Dopamine circuits don’t process experience in the real world, only imaginary future possibilities.
Dominance triggered submission, and submission triggered dominance.
A relationship that is formed for the purpose of accomplishing a goal is called agentic, and it is orchestrated by dopamine.
Affiliative relationships, on the other hand, are for the purpose of enjoying social interactions.
Adults with ADHD make impulse purchases and interrupt people.
Willpower is a limited resource.
Delusions are held with absolute certainty, a level of certainty that is rarely experienced with nondelusional ideas.
High levels of dopamine suppress H&N functioning, so brilliant people are often poor at human relationships.
Studies of personality help us predict what a group of people will do, but they are less helpful in predicting what an individual will do.
When circumstances change, liberals do a better job of rapidly activating neural circuits and adjusting their responses to meet the new challenge.
immigrants start a quarter of all new businesses in the United States—about twice as many per capita as other Americans.
