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October 10, 2022
When we are confronted with almost any demanding situation, in work or in life, simply taking the time and effort to ask questions can help guide us to better decisions and a more productive course of action. But the questions must be the right ones—the ones that cut to the heart of a complex challenge or that enable us to see an old problem in a new light.
the best leaders are those with the confidence and humility to ask the ambitious, unexpected questions that no one else is asking.
“People are united by questions. It is the answers that divide them.”12 Those “answers”—often just opinions dressed up as certainties—seem to be dividing us more than ever these days. And yet we continue to have a deep and powerful need to connect with others. A growing body of research shows that human connection is central to leading a happier, more meaningful life.13 Increasingly, we turn to technology as a means of generating more connections. But more is not necessarily deeper—and when it comes to life-enriching connections, deeper is better. In the effort to forge deeper, more meaningful
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On the most basic level, questions help us understand, and empathize with, other people. When you ask someone else a question, you are showing interest and providing an opportunity for that person to share thoughts, feelings, and stories. The better the question, the more it invites such sharing.
When we’re close to people and know them well (a spouse, family members, a business partner, a lifelong friend), we tend not to ask them questions. A powerful change can occur in these relationships when we shift away from advising, criticizing, opining—and toward the direction of asking and listening. That shift to “asking mode” can even transform adversarial relationships...
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Tippett: “It’s hard to transcend a combative question.14 But it’s hard to resist a generous question. We all have it in us to formulate questions that invite honesty, dignity, and revelation.”
Can a leader embrace uncertainty, ask questions, admit vulnerability—and still be seen as a strong and confident leader?
Do we even know how to ask those skeptical, interrogatory questions Sagan talked about? And when we do ask such questions, are we willing to accept information that may conflict with our existing views?
FIVE ALL-PURPOSE QUESTIONS FOR BETTER THINKING How can I see this with fresh eyes? What might I be assuming? Am I rushing to judgment? What am I missing? What matters most?
Many of us don’t particularly like to think about difficult decisions. The process can be uncomfortable and unsettling. Hard decisions demand that we make a choice in the midst of uncertainty; they force us to confront the unknown. Fortunately, the question is a tool designed for this precise situation. Questions enable us to “organize our thinking around what we don’t know,”
As we confront the various unknowns surrounding a tough decision, each question—What am I really trying to decide here? What’s most important? What critical information do I have and not have?—
A question is an invitation to think. It can be almost irresistible: Ask yourself an interesting question and you’ve given your mind a puzzle to solve. And when making important decisions, the more invitations we give ourselves to think, the better—because there are strong forces pulling us away from thinking at all.
