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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Chip Heath
Read between
April 28 - May 2, 2024
they seem to rate the experience based on two key moments: (1) the best or worst moment, known as the “peak”; and (2) the ending. Psychologists call it the “peak-end rule.”
What’s indisputable is that when we assess our experiences, we don’t average our minute-by-minute sensations. Rather, we tend to remember flagship moments: the peaks, the pits, and the transitions.
In our research, we have found that defining moments are created from one or more of the following four elements:
ELEVATION: Defining moments rise above the everyday.
we must boost sensory pleasures—the Popsicles must be delivered poolside on a silver tray, of course—and, if appropriate, add an element of surprise.
INSIGHT: Defining moments rewire our understanding of ourselves or the world. In
PRIDE: Defining moments capture us at our best—moments of achievement, moments of courage. To create such moments, we need to understand something about the architecture of pride—how to plan for a series of milestone moments that build on each other en route to a larger goal.
CONNECTION: Defining moments are social:
Defining moments possess at least one of the four elements above, but they need not have all four.
bottom line, if the EPIC acronym helps you remember the four elements, please keep it with our compliments.
In organizations, for instance, we are consumed with goals. Time is meaningful only insofar as it clarifies or measures our goals. The goal is the thing. But for an individual human being, moments are the thing. Moments are what we remember and what we cherish.
John Deere’s First Day Experience is a peak moment delivered at a time of transition. When a life transition lacks a “moment,” though, it can become formless.
As we saw in this chapter, three situations constitute natural defining moments and deserve our attention: (1) transitions; (2) milestones; and (3) pits. Let’s examine each category as it relates to banking relationships.
“School needs to be so much more like sports,” he added. “In sports, there’s a game, and it’s in front of an audience. We run school like it is nonstop practice. You never get a game. Nobody would go out for the basketball team if you never had a game. What is the game for the students?” That’s thinking in moments. In essence, Gilbert is asking, “Where’s the peak?”
To elevate a moment, do three things: First, boost sensory appeal. Second, raise the stakes. Third, break the script. (Breaking the script means to violate expectations about an experience—the next chapter is devoted to the concept.) Moments of elevation need not have all three elements but most have at least two.
One simple diagnostic to gauge whether you’ve transcended the ordinary is if people feel the need to pull out their cameras. If they take pictures, it must be a special occasion.
Breaking the script—defying people’s expectations of how an experience will unfold—is the third method.
This insight applies not just to employees, but also to parents. In families, so often we are hustling to “minimize negative variance”—getting kids to school on time, managing household chaos, keeping sibling spats under control. But are we focusing as much energy on increasing positive variance from week to week?
“The key to the reminiscence bump is novelty,”
For those anxious about facing a future that’s less memorable than the past, our advice is to honor the old saw, “Variety is the spice of life.” But notice that it does not say, “Variety is the entrée of life.” Nobody dines on pepper and oregano.
To break the script is to defy people’s expectations of how an experience will unfold.
Beware the soul-sucking force of reasonableness: “Couldn’t we just put the Popsicles in a cooler by the ice machine?”
Fill in this sentence: 3–5 years from now, my students still know . Or they still are able to do . Or they still find value in .”
If you mentor someone—a student, an employee, a relative—you might wonder about the best way to give them a productive push. A good starting place is a two-part formula cited in a paper by the psychologist David Scott Yeager and eight colleagues: high standards + assurance.
High standards + assurance (“I specifically told her that I had high expectations for what I thought she could accomplish,” Phelps said.) + Direction + support (Phelps suggested the field visits to correct the perceived “hole” in her experience and ensured that her first visit was with a female leader.) = Enhanced self-insight.
Tripping over the truth involves (1) a clear insight (2) compressed in time and (3) discovered by the audience itself. • In the “Dream Exercise,” professors discover they’re spending no time in class on their most important goals.
To produce moments of self-insight, we need to stretch: placing ourselves in new situations that expose us to the risk of failure.
The style is not important. What’s important is authenticity: being personal not programmatic. And frequency: closer to weekly than yearly. And of course what’s most important is the message: “I saw what you did and I appreciate it.”
He’s taken an ambiguous goal—learning to play the fiddle—and defined an appealing destination: playing in an Irish pub. Better yet, he invented five milestones en route to the destination, each worthy of celebration. Note that, as with a game, if he stopped the quest after Level 3, he’d still have several moments of pride to remember. It would have been a fun ride, like quitting after 30 levels of Candy Crush.
There are three practical principles we can use to create more moments of pride: (1) Recognize others; (2) Multiply meaningful milestones; (3) Practice courage. The first principle creates defining moments for others; the latter two allow us to create defining moments for ourselves.
We dramatically underinvest in recognition. • Researcher Wiley: 80% of supervisors say they frequently express appreciation, while less than 20% of employees agree.
To create moments of pride for ourselves, we should multiply meaningful milestones—reframing a long journey so that it features many “finish lines.”
If you want to be part of a group that bonds like cement, take on a really demanding task that’s deeply meaningful. All of you will remember it for the rest of your lives.
Graduation speakers take note: The best advice is not “Pursue your passion!” It’s “Pursue your purpose!” (Even better, try to combine both.)
To spark moments of connection for groups, we must create shared meaning. That can be accomplished by three strategies: (1) creating a synchronized moment; (2) inviting shared struggle; and (3) connecting to meaning. • Sharp’s recommitment to the customer experience had all three elements: (1) the All-Staff Assembly; (2) the voluntary “Action Teams”; and (3) a call for dramatic improvements in the way customers were cared for.
Groups bond when they struggle together. People will welcome a struggle when it’s their choice to participate, when they’re given autonomy to work, and when the mission is meaningful.
what deepens individual relationships is “responsiveness”: mutual understanding, validation, and caring.
