The Last Black Unicorn

by Tiffany Haddish

all my wins are lessons and all my failures are lessons that will one day become wins.

They’d be trying to like take care of me, getting me paper towels and stuff. It made them care about me. Hurting myself made them stop hurting me and care about me.

It’s easy to game school, once you realize that the rules are bullshit and you can get around them.

That’s why I think my life turned out as good as it has. Because all the time, I’m just trying to have fun.

It was pretty clear that my mama did not like me. She did not. She loved me but she did not like me. I think it was because I reminded her of my father.

I don’t know if you ever been hit on the bottom of your feet, but you feel that through your whole body.