The New Me

by Halle Butler

Kristin had just learned that she could reverse the direction of her ceiling fan, and that if she did that, it would serve a different purpose. Clockwise, the fan cooled the room. Counterclockwise, it circulated air and kept the apartment fresh. Something about the angle of the fan blades.

I was embarrassed to be me and needed someone to reassure me that I had good qualities, to reassure me that I was just overreacting or having a bad day.

The tragedies we steel ourselves for never come for years and years, and our negative fantasies wear us down inch by inch, so that when the blow actually comes, there’s little of us left to care.