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March 11 - March 24, 2021
For eternity, the tides of his sea had obeyed none but the Moon Goddess, but each time he glimpsed her face she would turn slowly away from him, shrinking in his eye until she showed him nothing at all.
safety required power, and to get power you had to move closer to the sun.
Ain’t that the truth
The laughter of children and the dancing feet of adults not too tired from another day of survival to feel joy.
In the rear window, the sea was visible at last—a shimmering horizon line. From up here, you couldn’t see that people were starving. Couldn’t see the ancient wall with the armed sentries stationed along it. Couldn’t see the mothers’ hands reaching, begging for a scrap of something to give their children as armored trucks rolled through the gate with just enough food to keep most of their families alive and hungry. From here, it was almost like quivering-chinned teens weren’t probing for a place to sneak their younger siblings across, just hoping not to be gunned down or sent back. Like big men
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She couldn’t help it; she had expected more. Wanted more, even. But this was just intimidation. Manipulation. The same kind perpetrated by all boys who thought they were stronger than girls.
“I’m talking now,” she said, and he closed his mouth. “I don’t need you to tell me how impressive I am, or how well-suited to your task. I’m well aware of my own skills. You think you can see something in me first? Give a purpose-starved girl a compliment and turn her to putty in your hands? Think again. I know I’d be good at what you’re asking. But you said it yourself: I value myself and my potential above all. So what you’ve failed to tell me, besides some run-of-the-mill attempt at blackmail, is why I’d want to risk my life for you.”
Dani’s life felt like the careful defusing of a bomb. There were no instructions, and if she cut the wrong wire, the whole thing would explode.
“Don’t be sorry,” he said, the door closing behind his eyes as quickly as it had opened. “Be useful.”
she prayed to the god who gathered shadows to conceal her as well as he could, the goddess who lived between her heartbeats to keep them slow and steady.
“My parents wanted better for me, but I think the danger in that was that they believed the lies. That money and status and proximity make you better. That believing the Sun God chose you is better than hearing the whispers in the wind and feeling the pull of the million tiny divinities in everything. That being born with a certain name, and certain privileges, make you inherently higher quality.”
“That’s what it means to fight. It means believing in the movement, and doing whatever it takes to further it, no matter what the consequences may be.”
“And the more threatened the privileged feel, the more drastic the measures they’ll be able to justify in the name of ‘safety.’”
The Cuatro de Bastos. Strength.
The god of steel was in her spine and her throat, and together, they waited.
I’ve told them all! Right up to the president himself! Time and time again! I’ve told them that our god chose us. That he chose us to prosper and that he’s never wrong!”
A man people might listen to, if they were afraid enough.
And now you’re alone with her, thinking about kissing her, fearing she might want you dead, Dani thought. Life was full of surprises.
Dani’s father had always told her that secrets made her strong. Her maestras had told her restraint made her strong. But Dani knew now that to crack open what you thought you knew, to allow it to scar with truth, that was what made you truly strong. And it was time now to be stronger than she’d ever been.
“The past may comfort us,” she said to the fire. “But it cannot feed us.”
They weren’t as fragile as a fire. They were so much more.
storm-tossed kisses and newly feline smiles.
“The bad stuff will be there,” Carmen said, kissing the side of Dani’s neck. “If we want to fight it, we have to find joy where we can. We have to find beauty. We have to take our moments to be happy. Because the joy is what keeps us strong and reminds us we have something to fight for.”
Maybe this was trust, she thought, her thoughts growing hazy as Carmen’s fingers traced circles on her arms, her stomach, as the warm weight of them relaxed into the rug. Giving someone the power to ruin you, betting your life on the belief that they wouldn’t.
“Dani, I knew who I was when I was nine years old. I knew I could talk adults into or out of anything. I knew who I wanted to be and who I wanted to love. I never, ever expected to meet someone like you. To feel the way I feel about you. Even if this wasn’t what I thought was right, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, don’t you see?”
Her maestras had always warned her that lust would distract her, and here was the proof.
The rhythm spread slowly like honey, the song half protest and half worship.
It demanded reverence for the very act of living.
“Change isn’t easy, Dani,” Sota said. “Freedom has a price. People who want easy and pretty stay in their cages.”
