“Next time you fuck me without a condom, I’m buyin’ myself a ‘baby on board’ maternity shirt, and it’s all I’m ever going to wear around you.” “You are a real pain in my ass, you know that?” he asks, opening a drawer and grabbing some silverware. I grab some while he has it open. “Wait until my pregnancy hormones kick in.” “For fuck’s sake, you are not pregnant.” “No thanks to you,” I mutter.
