“Don’t even try it, Mahoney. You’re bad enough for me without tanking my grades. If you ruin my GPA, I’ll follow you to Columbia just to cock block you. I’ll follow you everywhere you go and tell all your potential wives that you have a small penis.” “That’s not true,” he points out. “But they’ll never know that because my methods will be so effective, they will stay far, far away from it. I’ll bring a Tootsie Roll for visual aid. I will become the bane of your existence, and then I’ll be like, ‘Well, you should’ve let me maintain my GPA and then I’d be at college in PA right now, but
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