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Viewing the world through a Dad lens means turning any request from a child into a useful, practical action.
One crucial step remains to help stressed new parents avoid divorce court: look for the good. This means voicing what the Gottmans call the “three As”: affection, appreciation, and admiration.
It’s never too late! Age-appropriate chores. Age 3–4 Pick up toys. Help make the beds. Set the table. Stuff their dirty laundry in the hamper. Age 4–5 Clear the table. Put away silverware while Mom or Dad is unloading the dishwasher. Hang up towels in the bathroom. Take out recycling. Weed. Match socks and put away their own laundry. Water indoor plants. Age 6–7 Sweep kitchen and dining area with small broom. Fold laundry. Make their bed. Organize toy cabinets. Swiffer the floor. Help with meals (wash vegetables, set out ingredients). Get the mail. Clean out the gunk in the microwave. Wipe
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four basic money scripts that negatively impact a person’s financial health: money avoidance (people who don’t want to deal with it, or even think about it), money worship (those who believe their troubles would be over if they just had more dollars), money status (those for whom self-worth equals net worth), and money vigilance (those who are nervous about funds to the point of self-deprivation).
the questions a financial therapist would pose: What are your fears about money? What did your parents teach you about it? How do you define financial security? What is your money nightmare?
here is how to say no,” she says. “First rule: think before you automatically answer. Two: say no, not why.”
eliminating clutter can reduce housework (and the ensuing chore clashes) by up to 40 percent.
Scott Coltrane has noted that when men share “routine repetitive chores of cooking, cleaning, and washing,” women feel they are being treated fairly, they’re less likely to become depressed, and the couple has less marital conflict.
Should we have mealtimes together? Who will take care of the kid when she is sick? How should we include our relatives in our baby’s life? How much television should we allow? How do you feel about the child sleeping in the same bed as us? Will religion play a part in her life? Write down three to five things that you liked about how you were parented that you plan to include in your parenting, and three to five things you did not like that you plan to avoid.
In what ways has our child changed our relationship? How do you think we could have more fun in our life? How have your goals in life changed since we had a child? What things are missing in your life? Who is your role model as a parent? What are your biggest worries about our future?
