I'm Thinking of Ending Things

by Iain Reid

“A memory is its own thing each time it’s recalled. It’s not absolute.

Stories are the way we learn. Stories are how we understand each other. But reality happens only once.”

Are small, critical actions enough? Small gestures make us feel good—about ourselves, about others. Small things connect us.

Is intelligence always good?

I wonder. What if intelligence is wasted?

it, the more I think long-term relationships are for getting to know someone. I want someone to know me, really know me, almost like that person could get into my head.

Maybe that’s how we know when a relationship is real. When someone else previously unconnected to us knows us in a way we never thought or believed possible.

But isn’t being alone closer to the truest version of ourselves, when we’re not linked to another, not diluted by their presence and judgments?

It’s probably not going to work out with Jake. I’m probably going to end it.

Even considering the data that shows the majority of marriages don’t last, people still think marriage is the normal human state. Most people want to get married.

On the nights I can’t sleep, like that one, like so many recently, I wish I could just turn my mind off like a lamp.

It’s amazing that relationships can form and last under the constraints of never fully knowing. Never knowing for sure what the other person is thinking. Never knowing for sure who a person is. We can’t do whatever we want.

But we can think whatever we want.