“Ouch!” I say reflexively, even though it didn’t hurt. I’m startled. “What was that?” “Well, you seem like you’re enjoying the experience of suffering, so I thought I’d help you out with that.” “What?” “There’s a difference between pain and suffering,” Wendell says. “You’re going to have to feel pain—everyone feels pain at times—but you don’t have to suffer so much. You’re not choosing the pain, but you’re choosing the suffering.” He goes on to explain that all of this perseverating I’m doing, all of this endless rumination and speculation about Boyfriend’s life, is adding to the pain and
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