Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

by Lori Gottlieb

speaking about something doesn’t make it less real. It makes it scarier.

turns out that sessions to which patients come with neither a crisis nor an agenda tend to be the most revelatory ones.

we give our minds space to wander, they take us to the most unexpected and interesting places.

It was that I hadn’t been attracted to anyone.

was grieving, and it’s only upon my gradual emergence that I’ve begun to feel attraction in the world again. Sometimes

and dwelling, and if we’re cut off from our feelings, just skating on the surface, we don’t get peace or joy—we get deadness. So

we bring awareness to what’s going on in people’s heads and

in the day-to-day.

What people do in therapy is like shooting baskets against a backboard. It’s necessary. But what they need to do then is go and play in an actual game.” The

Just because she sends you guilt doesn’t mean you have to accept delivery.”

which point those lovers or relatives will see the light and become the people they’d wished for all along. But it rarely happens like that. At some point, being a fulfilled adult means taking responsibility for the course of your own life and accepting the fact that now you’re in charge of your choices.

no hierarchy of pain. Suffering shouldn’t be ranked, because pain is not a contest.

Margo feels left out of your life and now she’s hearing that you’ve been sharing it with somebody else. She craves that closeness with you.” “Yeah,”

goal is to integrate the loss into your life and create an ongoing connection with the person who died while also finding a way to continue living. But

brain helps you recover from psychological attack.

carries around the therapist’s voice in her head, applying it to situations and essentially eliminating the need for the therapy.

people pull back to see the bigger picture: how scared they are to lose what they have, even if they still complain about it. “And