It often takes the form of a mental bird’s-eye view, I seem to float up out of me, a yard or two above the carnage I’ve created and look down at other me thinking, ‘Oh look, there I am, I’m actually persevering with this mayhem. It’s almost certainly a terrible idea. Oh well too late now, I might as well jump back in with him and finish this shit off.’ This is not diminished responsibility; I am responsible for all the things I’ve done. It’s just I wasn’t this me while I was doing them.
