The tension, guilt and sadness I feel when living in addiction is to me an indication of an awareness that there is another way of being. A higher, preferable way. I don’t believe these are taught social codes, or petit bourgeois ideals. I believe this to be a marrow-deep, helix-hard presence that wants to realize itself in the same way that a tree is moving to self-realization from the moment the seed splits. Perhaps before, perhaps it is an unbroken spiral of root and branch reaching through what we call ‘time’ back to the creation of life itself.
