Once I had forgiven my stepdad, I was able to look more clearly at my own actions. I was rude, dismissive and disruptive. I stole, I lied and I manipulated. These are harms. So when I make a list of people I have harmed, he must be on it. I must say I felt a kind of liberation having made this adjustment, a sense of freedom that came just from throwing off the yoke of my own tyrannizing perspective. It felt as if I’d advanced from the image I’d had of myself, life and circumstances as a boy to a liberating maturation, manhood. By maintaining a personal museum of resentments, we imprison
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