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we should never crave anything in life that requires walls or curtains.
just as someone who walks barefoot is cautious not to step on a nail or twist his ankle, they should be careful throughout the day not to harm their own character by lapsing into errors of moral judgment.17
picturing yourself acting more like your role models or imagining yourself following their advice.
“We ought not to act and speak as if we were asleep.”
You might do this by posing questions to yourself such as: • What’s ultimately the most important thing in life to you? • What do you really want your life to stand for or represent? • What do you want to be remembered for after you’re dead? • What sort of person do you most want to be in life? • What sort of character do you want to have? • What would you want written on your tombstone?
Keep coming back to the question “What’s the most important thing in life?” Or, as the Stoics would say, “What is the true nature of the good?”
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
As we’ll see, there’s nothing wrong with pleasure unless we begin craving it so much that we neglect our responsibilities in life or it replaces healthy and fulfilling activities with ones that are not.
Chasing empty, transient pleasures can never lead to true happiness in the long run.
However, pleasure can be tricky—it can lure us in by posing as...
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What we’re all really seeking in life is the sense of authentic happiness or fulfillment th...
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People still confuse pleasure with happiness and often find it difficult to imagine another perspective on life.
that we all seek a deeper and more lasting sense of fulfillment.
It portrays Socrates arguing that the virtue of self-control makes men noble and good, whereas pursuing a life of pleasure does not.
Wickedness can be had in abundance easily: smooth is the road and very nigh she dwells. But in front of virtue the gods immortal have put sweat: long and steep is the path to her and rough at first; but when you reach the top, then at length the road is easy, hard though it was.
a man’s worth can be measured by the things upon which he sets his heart.
tells himself that the goal of his life is not pleasure but action.
So the wise man sets reasonable limits on his desires, and he exercises the virtue of moderation: “Nothing in excess.”
There’s a world of difference between healthy pleasures and unhealthy ones.
Marcus therefore says that it’s not in feelings but in actions that your supreme good resides.10
wise man loves life and is grateful for the opportunities it gives him, but he accepts that everything changes and nothing lasts forever.
who practice self-control actually obtain more pleasure from things like food and drink than those who indulge in them to excess.
Evaluate the consequences of your habits or desires in order to select which ones to change. 2. Spot early warning signs so that you can nip problematic desires in the bud. 3. Gain cognitive distance by separating your impressions from external reality. 4. Do something else instead of engaging in the habit.
Planning new activities that are consistent with your core values.
Contemplating the qualities you admire in other people. 3. Practicing gratitude for the things you already have in life.
“It’s not things that make us crave them but our judgments about things.”
“a little pain is contemptible, and a great one is not lasting.”
“On pain: if it is unbearable, it carries us off, if it persists, it can be endured.”
“Pain is neither unendurable nor everlasting, if you keep its limits in mind and do not add to it through your own imagination.”
you learn to build up resistance to a bigger problem by voluntarily exposing yourself repeatedly to something similar, albeit in smaller doses or a milder form.
he believed that complaining and chattering too much about our problems just makes them worse, and, more importantly, it harms our character.
“No joining others in their wailing, no violent emotion.”
“It’s not events that upset us but our judgments about events.”
which teaches clients neither to suppress unpleasant feelings nor to worry about them. Instead, you should learn to accept them while remaining detached from them.
A wise and good person, by contrast, may use both health and illness as opportunities to exercise virtue.
Struggling against things we can’t control does us more harm than good.
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
“Do not let us build a second story to our sorrow by being sorry for our sorrow.”42
“he who knows how to suffer suffers less.”
every misfortune is transformed into something good by its touch.
Marcus tells himself to always remember when he starts to feel frustrated with events that “this is not a misfortune, but rather to bear it nobly is good fortune.”
“the wise man will take part in politics, if nothing prevents him.”
Everything that we see is changing and will soon be gone, and we should bear in mind how many things have already changed over time, like the waters of streams flowing ceaselessly past—an idea that we can call the contemplation of impermanence.
that the quality of our life is determined by our value judgments, because those shape our emotions.
“It is impossible to make men exactly as one would wish them to be; we must use them such as they are.”
When we remember that nothing lasts forever, it no longer seems worthwhile getting angry with other people.
Other people can harm your property or even your body, but they can’t harm your character unless you allow them to do so.
He views this as another dichotomy: either we can educate the other person and change their opinions or we can’t. If we can teach them a better way, then we should
do so; if not, we should accept that fact, without anger.
to expect bad people not to do bad things is madness because that is wishing for the impossible.
