The Bride Test

by Helen Hoang

He wanted to take his words back. He wanted to erase her sadness. He’d do almost anything to make her smile again.

And she had nowhere to go. There was a great big world all around, and none of it was hers. Where did you go when you had nowhere?

“I told her I don’t love her back.” “That’s bullshit,” Quan exploded. “What the fuck?”

You’re an all-or-nothing guy, so we knew the first girl to catch your attention would be the one. Esme is your ‘one,’ Khai.”

but she was good enough for herself.

She didn’t know how, but she was going to prove her worth. She’d show everyone.

Was love enough? Fierceness overtook her. Love would have to be enough. It was truly all she had.

“How are you two going to work things out if you don’t talk things over? Tell him what’s wrong, and he’ll fix it. It’s only easy.”

He pulled her into his arms and held her tight. “I was worried about you.” For the longest time, he simply hugged her, and she let him.

“Do you love me?” she asked softly, giving him a chance to change everything. He clenched his jaw tight and clasped her hands in his. “I can keep you safe, and I can carry you when you’re hurt, and I can . . .” His gaze dropped to her mouth. “I can kiss you like it’s the first time every time. I can—I can . . .” His expression went determined. “I can work with you on the lawn. I can even get it professionally done. I can fix up the house for you. If you want. Whatever kind of wedding you want, I can—”

“Khải,” she said firmly. “Do you love me?” His eyes fell shut, and the fight leaked out of him. “No, I don’t.”

“I’m not your ‘precious girl’ anymore. I tried. But then I fell in love with him, and I can’t be with him when it’s like this. I’ll break.”

Everyone deserved to love and be loved back. Everyone. Even her.

Cô Nga rubbed Esme’s back like she was shredding carrots. “Here, here, you’ll always be my Precious Girl. Always.” Esme hugged her tighter before she swiped a sleeve over her face. “I ...

In this country of empowered people, justice, and fairness, opportunities were there for everyone. Marriage and birth couldn’t be the only ways to belong here. She didn’t believe that. There had to be something she could do to earn her place here, some way to prove herself. She had to keep looking.

he wasn’t sure he’d spelled “Hi” right. Was it just an H and an i? That didn’t seem like enough letters for such an important concept.

Whatever, he would plow through. People said he was smart. All he had to do was focus. He was good at focusing, too good sometimes.

No more Esme smiles at night, in the morning, and every time he looked at her.

He couldn’t escape her—he didn’t even know if he wanted to—and his head felt like it was going to explode.

Quan rolled his eyes. “What a load of shit. Are you going to say you don’t love at all? I know you love me.” Khai tilted his head to the side. He’d never thought about that before.

“You don’t have the flu. This is how your heart breaks. It’s like you hurt too much for your brain to process, and then your body shuts down, too.

It was distinctly infuriating imagining his socks journeying through the house separately. They were designed to be together. Unlike Khai. He was meant to be a lone sock. Lone socks had a place in this world, too. Not everyone had two feet.

Usually, she couldn’t do things because the opportunity wasn’t there, and the worry persisted that maybe she couldn’t because she just wasn’t good enough.

What happened when you gave someone an opportunity?

he wondered what made a person a person. Was it something mystical like a soul? Something scientific like neural connections in the brain? Or something simpler, like the ability to make someone miss you ten years after you’d died?

It made him a greedy bastard, but he wanted her love. He wanted to be her “one,” the recipient of her smiles, the reason for her smiles, her drug. She was his.

She refused to cry. If he didn’t love her, someone else would. She wasn’t going to settle for a one-sided love. Not in this lifetime. Not ever.

“I. Don’t. Love. Her,” he said through his teeth. Quan’s jaw dropped. “How can you say that? You were there today. You were the one holding on to her like you were falling apart, and she was the one keeping you together. She was exactly what you needed. Because you love her, and she loves you back, you shit.”

“Sometimes the things people do and believe don’t make sense.

I feel most alive when I might die. And you, you’re convinced you don’t feel, and the responsible thing is to avoid people.”

Alone again. He wasn’t lonely, though. He liked this. Like wasn’t the right word. He was accustomed to this. Well, he used to be. Until Esme came along.

They were judging her based on some test scores and a handful of essays she’d written in an afternoon. That wasn’t enough to measure the value of a person.

She’d been evaluated, deemed to have little to no worth, and discarded. This kept happening to her. Again and again and again. And she was so tired now. So tired.

How did you change your life when you were trapped like this? Her history didn’t define her. Her origins didn’t define her. At least, they shouldn’t. She could be more, if she had a chance.

But people didn’t see who she was inside. They didn’t know. And she had no way to show th...

He looked her directly in the eyes and said, “If it doesn’t work, you’ll end up married to me. Willing to gamble?”

“And I like you and want to see you make it. It’s a small thing for me to do, but it means a lot to you, right?”

These were sad tears for Andy. Ten years late. He shook his head at himself. That took “delayed reaction” to an extreme. But he was an extreme kind of person.

His heart wasn’t made of stone, after all. It just wasn’t like everyone else’s.

It was easier to keep people at arm’s length when it was for their own good instead of his. That way, he got to be a hero instead of a coward.

But now, he didn’t care if he was a hero or a coward. All he wanted was to be Esme’s.

and sometimes one person could make a world of difference.

Her origins didn’t define her, but they were a part of her. She refused to be ashamed of them.

He was watching Esme like he usually did, with complete, undivided attention.

“I love you. I told myself I didn’t. Because I was afraid to lose someone again, and I doubted myself, and I wanted only the best for you. But the feeling has gotten too big to deny. My heart works in a different way, but it’s yours. You’re my one.”

“Marry me. And not just for three years, but for keeps.”

Four years ago, he’d thought he had too many women in his life to have room for another, but he’d been wrong. He’d had just enough room for two more, and his heart, he found, was very far from being made of stone.

Em yêu anh yêu em. Girl loves boy loves girl.

Most of my childhood memories of my mom involve her sleeping.

But as much as I admire and love her, I didn’t actually know her very well. Not as a person. I didn’t have a deep understanding of what drove her, what her fears and vulnerabilities were.