Iron and Magic (The Iron Covenant, #1)

by Ilona Andrews

The world has suffered a magic apocalypse. We pushed technological progress too far, and now magic has returned with a vengeance. It comes in waves, without warning, and vanishes as suddenly as it appears. When magic is up, planes drop out of the sky, cars stall, and electricity dies. When magic is down, guns work and spells fail.

My favorite part of this premise is that it implies that tech is just another type of magic, basically.

Rock bottom wasn’t the worst place to start from,

"You've hit rock bottom? A solid foundation."

Bucky

Wow I'm gonna make a lot of winter soldier jokes

Bucephalus.”

I think you mean Buchanan

Magic fought all technology, but it hated large structures the most,

I would assume magic takes offense to the amount of math that goes into a tall building. But that raises the question: does math no longer work with magic up? Don't think about it, this whole magic vs tech thing does not hold up well under scrutiny

In the small corral before his tent, Bucky glowed.

HE LITERALLY GAVE HIM A UNICORN A UNICORN WITH A STUPID NAME

They were up to something.

Felix is plotting with the unicorn

“You’re handsome, a big, imposing figure of a man, and um…” Lamar scrounged for some words. “And they’re desperate.”

You barely even tried omg. "You're very pretty, and large, and uh. I can't think of anything else positive to say man you're a fucking asshole."

“And a recovering alcoholic.”

Lamar is not here to make anyone feel better but he's having a good time

“Yes, but again, they’re desperate. And we’re running out of food.”

We're all desperate here

“You want me to marry a man?”

Hugh like WE'RE NOT THAT DESPERATE

“It was a joint effort between me and my equivalent on the other side,”

We're FRANDS now. We get together and gossip about the idiots we've given our loyalty to for some unknowable reason we can only assume was temporary insanity

Not pale blond or bleached platinum, white.

Yes dear, she matches your horse, aren't you excited

The smiths took everything except for the karaoke machine, which he had the Iron Dogs stash in the barracks. When tech hit, they would find out if it worked.

Y'know. Priorities. A good old fashioned sing along! Its goid for the soul!

You don’t get hazard pay.” Hazard pay?

HA

Her hair was down again,

You literally just said you never leave it down El

Instead wild wolves lived in family groups, a parent couple and their young,

-applauds- yep good job that's what "pack animal" actually means

like he was a puppy.

Excuse you he is totally a puppy

“I’ll carry him,” Sharif said.

"I love him he is mine this is my dog I would for for this dog he's my son"

Daniels saw him as a sibling.

Ha! Called it

He craved it like a drug.

Literally

He what? Could this get any worse?

Thanks for the warning dear

Fighting the undead on horseback would only get the stallion killed.

I mean you say that but I'm not convinced

“What happened to your head?” Elara demanded. “Someone threw a rock.” Sam shrugged.

Kill them all

“Stop all shipments to Aberdine.”

Fuck them in particular

“Don’t you worry. Nobody does this to our people.

See Sam is their kid I don't make the rules

I’m not responsible for the actions of your loyal hound.” “He isn’t my dog.” She pointed at Cedric. “Tell him that.”

Don't you dare he's a good boy

“I need to think about your proposal. Do you have anything in writing?”

Honestly I fucking love characters who lie and mislead

‘You’re a smart woman,’ what they really mean to say is ‘But I am smarter?’”

Why yes, El, I have noticed that

Welcome to the 21st century.

This tactic is call "oh no you locked your shields together whatever shall we do. Unrelated, have you met Tank?"

The air smelled of fresh bread and roasted meat. “Oh my god,” Stoyan groaned behind him.

Reasons the Iron Dogs are loyal to Elara's people: 1) The bread 2) Bitchin barracks 3) Some other stuff but mostly those two

They consider undeath to be unnatural.”

I mean Y'know If a barks like a duck

She had married a raving lunatic.

Pot, kettle

Elara saw long white scars crossing the elephant’s hide.

////plz adopt the elephant monster////// THOSE BASTARDS!!

Elara whirled and ran to the door.

THAT'S MY ELEPHANT BITCHES DON'T MAKE ME EAT YOU BECAUSE I FUCKING WILL

He wasn’t that much of a bastard.

Aw lookit you, doing decent things for you instead of just to prevent the inevitable wrath of your wife She'd definitely kill you though That's her elephant They are frands

Felix clutched her hand and died.

On one hand, oh no, cat guy On the other hand, oh good one last person to keep track of THERE'S SO MANY

Kate’s

Aw look, he's accepting she's the little sister he literally never wanted

“HE IS MINE, WIZARD.” “Have him then.”

FINDERS FUCKING KEEPERS

“Good.” Stoyan smiled.

The bread's too good to betray