Master Your Emotions: A Practical Guide to Overcome Negativity and Better Manage Your Feelings (Mastery Series Book 1)

by Thibaut Meurisse

Your inability to accept that truth is the reason you become defensive. When that topic is brought up, it triggers emotional reactions such as anger, denial or self-criticism.

You were told something you believe to be true and feel hurt.

Someone directly or indirectly attacks one of your core beliefs, and you feel the need to defend yourself. This could be a religious belief, a political belief, or a more general belief about the world or yourself. The more attached you are to this belief, the stronger your emotional reaction will be.

Whenever a belief you’re strongly attached to is attacked or challenged, you’ll experience an emotional reaction. The deeper the belief is, the stronger the emotional reaction will be when it is attacked. An extreme example would be someone ready to kill anybody who dares to criticize his or her religion.

Within every worry is an opportunity for positive action. In every lie, there is a kernel of truth. Behind every neurotic symptom is the misdirected desire to live fully and well.

There are two ways you can reduce stress: By avoiding situations you perceive as stressful, and By becoming better at dealing with stressful situations.

Emotions arise as a result of your interpretation of events.

Worry differs from stress as it isn’t the result of something you experience in the present, but a concern you have regarding events from the past or events that may happen in the future. You experience stress when you face a stressful situation in the present moment.

Constant worry results from trying to control events over which you have no control. When you do so, you create unnecessary stress in your life. To deal with stress and overcome chronic worries more effectively, it is essential you learn to sort out worries. An effective way to do this is to separate the things you have control over from the things you have no control over.

This category includes things such as your actions and behaviors.

How on earth can another’s thought about you harm you? It is your thought about his thought that harms. Change your thought.

you are the most important person in the world. Since you must live with yourself 24/7, it is normal to be concerned about your own mental and physical well-being.

you don’t have to worry so much about what people think of you.

When you’re twenty, you care what everyone thinks, when you’re forty, you stop caring what everyone thinks, and when you’re sixty, you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place.

You care what other people think of you because you want them to approve of you. You assume the best way to do that is to avoid making waves. As a result, you may spend your whole life trying to be the perfect person, hoping to be loved. However, it usually doesn’t work. No matter how great you are, some people won’t like you. You may try to ‘fix’ the image people have of you, but that won’t work either. People will still see you the way they want to, because of their own values and beliefs.

if you base your self-worth on what people think of you, you’ll always be at the mercy of the approval of others.

You’re not responsible for people’s thoughts. In fact, what people think of you is none of your business. Your job is to express your personality the best way you can while having the purest intent possible.

don’t make it your personal mission to change people’s image of you. People are entitled to their beliefs and values, and they have the right to dislike you. They are free to interpret your actions and behaviors through their own filter. Part of your personal growth is to accept you don’t have to be liked by everybody, and finally, you can be yourself.

If you are overly self-conscious, chances are you worry too much about the way people perceive you.

Even if we can’t love our enemies, lest at least love ourselves. Let’s love ourselves so much that we won’t permit our enemies to control our happiness, our health, and our looks.

Resentment often builds up when you fail to communicate effectively with the people you resent. That is, when you didn’t tell them you felt hurt, or didn’t communicate your needs and wants, assuming they would naturally cater to them. It can also grow when you did express your feelings but can’t let go of them and forgive.

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Resentment occurs when you are unable to forgive and move on with your life. It is the result of being attached to what was in the past instead of focusing on what could be in the future. When you experience resentment, you are provided with an opportunity to learn how to forgive and let go and, more importantly, how to love yourself.

Resentment will subsist as long as your need for being right and getting even is more important than your peace of mind.

The mind, conditioned as it is by the past, always seeks to re-create what it knows and is familiar with. Even if it is painful,

at least it is familiar. The mind always adheres to the known. The unknown is dangerous because it has no control over it. That’s why the mind dislikes and ignores the present moment.

Resentment results from your interpretation of something that happened to you. This interpretation leads you to feel betrayed and to experience anger, or even a desire for revenge. By revisiting the scene in your mind, you allow resentment to build and, because you avoid confronting the situation or person at the root of your resentment, the emotion continues to grow. To prevent resentment from building, it is necessary for you to reevaluate your interpretation of what happened, while confronting the situation or person you resent. After doing this, you must be willing to forgive and release your resentment. Finally, you must choose to forget. This entails not replaying the scene in your mind over and over again.

1. Changing/reevaluating your interpretation To put things into perspective, it is important for you to look at your interpretation of what happened. Might you have over-dramatized the situation? Is it possible you misinterpreted something? Ask yourself, what exactly happened? After you remove your interpretation, only the hard facts will remain. Looking at what really happened may provide you with valuable insights, allowing you to replace your current interpretation with a more empowering one. 2. Confronting the situation If your resentment is directed toward people, perhaps you need to have an honest discussion with them and share how you feel. Often, resentment builds up when you don’t share your feelings with the person you resent. This is often due to fear: fear of appearing vulnerable, fear of hurting the other person, or fear of negatively impacting your relationship with that person. If you can’t talk to that person directly, an alternative is to write a letter. Even if you don’t send it, the simple act of writing the letter may help you release some of your resentment. 3. Forgiving Now you’ve found a channel to express yourself, you can start to forgive. You’ve looked at the hard facts and reevaluated your interpretation. If needed, you had an honest discussion with the person you resent. You did what you had to do, and can now let go.

forgiving is an act of self-love. You forgive not just because you have compassion, but because you value your happiness more than anything else.

Finally, forget. Forgetting is when you stop entertaining thoughts of resentment and simply move on. When such thoughts arise, let them go. Over time they will lose their power.

Jealousy stems from the belief you aren’t good enough. It comes from a place of lack and scarcity. You want something someone else has, believing that it would fulfill you. Alternatively, you’re afraid of losing something or someone you believe is yours.