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We long for experiences “of profound connection with others,” he writes, “of deep understanding of natural phenomena, of love, of being profoundly moved by music or tragedy, or doing something new and innovative.” Just as important, we long for esteem and pride, “a self that happiness is a fitting response to.” Implicit in Nozick’s experiment is the idea that happiness should be a by-product, not a goal. Many of the ancient Greeks believed the same. To Aristotle, eudaimonia (roughly translated as “flourishing”) meant doing something productive. Happiness could only be achieved through
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Joy comes from connection and DOING, not from pursuing fleeting pleasures and comforts. You can achieve joy through childrearing, but you can also achieve it through other sources of connection and doing -- building relationships outside of nuclear family, pursuing physical and/or mental challenges (see Shop Class as Soulcraft), connecting with the natural world. You will have more time for these things without children!
Raising children requires a lot of doing. It’s a life of clamorous, perpetual forward motion, the very opposite of Nozick’s passive experience machine. Not everyone wants children. But for many—especially those of us who don’t have the imagination or wherewithal to create meaning in unconventional ways—having children is a way to exploit our potential, to give design and purpose to a life. Robin Simon puts the finest point on it: “Children are a reason to get up in the morning.”
This sums up the book! If you have the "imagination or wherewithal" to find meaning outside of children, and you do not want children, and especially if you live in a society that is hostile to families (America) or do not have the means to care for them, you should not have children simply to find meaning. There are other ways; you just need to be imaginative enough to find them, or your life will drift into either hedonistic, fleeting "happiness" or emptiness or both.
