It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered

by Lysa TerKeurst

Humans are very attached to outcomes. We say we trust God but behind the scenes we work our fingers to the bone and our emotions into a tangled fray trying to control our outcomes. We praise God when our normal looks like what we thought it would. We question God when it doesn’t. And walk away from Him when we have a sinking suspicion that God is the one who set fire to the hope that was holding us together.

We motivate ourselves to get through the bad of today by playing a mental movie of the good that will surely come tomorrow.

hard time plus healing time plus staying faithful to God should equal the exact good outcome we were counting on.

We cannot control our outcomes. We cannot formulate how the promises of God will actually take shape. And we will never be able to demand any of the healing from all the hurt to hurry up.

Though we can’t predict or control or demand the outcome of our circumstances, we can know with great certainty we will be okay. Better than okay. Better than normal. We will be victorious because Jesus is victorious (1 Corinthians 15:57). And victorious people were never meant to settle for normal.

We live in the uncertainty of neither being able to predict nor control the outcome.

We will be victorious because Jesus is victorious. And victorious people were never meant to settle for normal.

pretending away reality never makes things better.

Sometimes to get your life back, you have to face the death of what you thought your life would look like.

The disappointment that is exhausting and frustrating you? It holds the potential for so much good. But we’ll only see it as good if we trust the heart of the Giver.

disappointment can be a gift from God that feels nothing like a gift at all.

But disappointment isn’t proof that God is withholding good things from us. Sometimes it’s His way of leading us Home.

the human heart was created in the context of the perfection of the garden of Eden.

New will always eventually become old.

Because everyone says, “Be grateful and positive, and let your faith boss your feelings around.”

there’s a dangerous aspect to staying quiet and pretending we don’t get exhausted by our disappointments.

In the quiet, unexpressed, unwrestled-through disappointments, Satan is handcrafting his most damning weapons against us and those we love. It’s his subtle seduction to get us alone with our thoughts so he can slip in whispers that will develop our disappointments into destructive choices.

If the enemy can isolate us, he can influence us.

to strip out the cause of our disappointment would also rob us of the glorious hope of where we are headed.

we will never appreciate or even desire the hope of our True Love if lesser loves don’t disappoint.

all those harsh realities aren’t the end, but rather a temporary middle space.

to let my feelings be the only voice will rob my soul of healing perspectives with which God wants to comfort me and carry me forward.

To wrestle well means acknowledging my feelings but moving forward, letting my faith lead the way.

if God’s symphony continues to play loud and strong as the ultimate soundtrack of our lives, we will sense how to get back on track. We will feel how to get back in rhythm. We will hear how to get back in tune.

I want to open the gift of disappointment and release the atmosphere of hope contained within.

My disappointments don’t feel like a gift at all, but I’m going to trust You—the Giver of good gifts.