Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered” as Want to Read:
It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered

by
4.31  ·  Rating details ·  21,580 ratings  ·  1,884 reviews
New York Times  bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst unveils her heart amid shattering circumstances and shows readers how to live assured when life doesn't turn out like they expected.

What do you do when God’s timing seems questionable, His lack of intervention hurtful, and His promises doubtful?

Life often looks so very different than we hoped or expected. Some events ma
...more
Kindle Edition, 287 pages
Published November 13th 2018 by Thomas Nelson
More Details... Edit Details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about It's Not Supposed to Be This Way, please sign up.
Popular Answered Questions
Jennifer Barns Yes, there are. At the end of each chapter, there is a section called "Going to the Well" that includes the following:
Remember (summary of main points…more
Yes, there are. At the end of each chapter, there is a section called "Going to the Well" that includes the following:
Remember (summary of main points)
Receive (list of verses to look up for further reflection)
Reflect (questions for the reader and a prayer)(less)
Claire Borchert I feel like this book could be a blessing to anyone who is going through the valleys in their life.

Community Reviews

Showing 1-30
Average rating 4.31  · 
Rating details
 ·  21,580 ratings  ·  1,884 reviews


More filters
 | 
Sort order
Start your review of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered
Cara Putman
Sep 17, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book came exactly when I needed it, and I haven't stopped recommending it since. In It's Not Supposed to be This Way Lysa addresses the things and hurts that happen in our lives that leave us questioning where God has gone. The disappointment that comes from loving and following Him, obeying Him, and watching your world fall apart. And she challenges us to lean into Him in this space between two gardens and trust His heart. In the pages, she is vulnerable, focused, wise, and encouraging. I ...more
Rissa
Its not supposed to be this way ⭐️

Bookclub questions

How would you define disappointment?

Was there a certain part of the story that impacted you most?

What would happen in our lives if we lived in the Absolute assurance of God’s love in the midst of our disappointment?

If the enemy can isolate us. He can influence us pg7
Was there a time you felt the enemy winning in your life?

God is a restirctive God. I know better.
Why do we think we know better than God?

Take this pain away. Why was God choosing
...more
Monica
Nov 08, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If we live long enough, I think there are tough moments that come when most of us say, It's not supposed to be this way. We wonder why these things happen. The past few years, Lysa Terkeurst has faced some tough challenges which she shares in her new book, It's Not Supposed To Be This Way.


It's Not Supposed To Be This Way is Terkeurst's story of how she handled the hard things of the past few years and how turning to God helped her face them. This book is part memoir and part an inspirational enc
...more
Christy
4 stars

This was so good and motivational x
Claire Johnson
Jan 13, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: jesus
I know a lot of you are curious about this book, so here’s a rundown for you.

I was nervous that it was going to be a lot of Christian platitudes on struggling.....the thing is, it kind of is, but I didn’t hate it. I think I’m at a point where I need to hear it. For instance, “Don’t welcome hardness of heart as easiness of life.” Eeek. She also couples those by always saying she’s been there, she gets it. So she does it in a way that doesn’t make it seem like “platitudes” but truths that are to
...more
Eliza
Powerful read.
Kimberly Dawn
Jul 03, 2019 rated it really liked it
Lysa TerKeurst is wonderful at sharing the hard-earned wisdom she has searched for and found while struggling with her own deeply painful, unexpected trials. She is a Christian writer, the answers she shares are of a spiritual and biblical nature.

Like the late Wayne Dyer, I believe there’s a spiritual solution to every problem. Lysa is very relatable and candid about her own struggles. She lovingly shares heart healing wisdom from the word of God. Lysa has a way of communicating these truths in
...more
Melissa (LifeFullyBooked)
I have to admit, this was a difficult book for me to read at this stage of my life. I appreciated so much this author's vulnerability to share the not so beautiful parts of her life in order to shine God's light and to help others.
It certainly helped me to see God's hand even in the crushing times.
...more
Mackenzie Lane
I can't recommend this book enough.

I recently went through a painful round of rejection that hurt so deeply and substantially, my mom and I went on a spur-of-the-moment road trip just to see family. I'm forever grateful I have her to be my confidant & mother. I believe God used that week-long vacation to restore my hope in Him alone, not in my circumstances.

I picked this book up at the perfect time. I feel as close to God as I've ever been in my life. There is a purpose in our suffering, and I
...more
Liz Overberg
I'm not going to rate this book because I have some serious Catholic guilt that would come into play if I did, but I will tell you a little bit about what you might want to know about it if you are considering picking it up.

Lysa TerKeurst is a good writer. She's relatable. She has a sense of humor. She's grounded. She's bright. It's clear that a lot of serious thought, meditation, and prayer has gone into her writing. She's extremely self reflective and earnest.

Girl LOVES her some extended met
...more
Christina Claypool
The whole world seems to know the circumstances which caused Lysa TerKeurst to write this book. An unfaithful husband and a life-threatening health-struggle give the author credibility in saying, "It's Not Supposed to Be This Way."
I have a faithful and loving husband today, but years ago, I lived through the betrayal and heartbreak created by an unfaithful spouse, too. Unless you have lived it, it really is virtually impossible to understand the soul-crushing heartache that ensues when your mar
...more
Diane
Jan 16, 2019 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction, truth
This is a hard one to review. I read this book to help others around me that are going through difficult times. TerKerurst is an engaging writer and I always appreciate her wisdom and charm; however, a lot of this book is repetitive and scattered. I'm personally happy to see that she and her husband have reconciled after publication but I feel this book is missing depth that she could've spoken to during her separation. ...more
Annette
Dec 30, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I loved several things about this book:
•The visual layout of the book. The "Going to the Well" sections at the end of each chapter. This section is a "recap" of what was taught in the chapter. There are remember points, Scriptures to read, deep questions, and a prayer. The subtitle pages are two pages in length in bold block print. Important quotes are set off by themselves in the chapters.
•The chapters at the end of the book: Epilogue gives an update on her marriage, an additional one on her h
...more
Jennifer
Feb 25, 2019 rated it it was amazing
5 ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️! Such an incredible read! Thank you Lysa for being so honest and vulnerable with me. I loved this book so much and I’m so grateful that I got to do it as a bible study online. And I think this was my favorite of yours so far. What a blessing this was.
So every chapter I read I said.... “this is my FAVORITE chapter!” Wow just wow! This was right on time. And I came to the well every chapter willingly...sometimes crawling, pouring my heart out to God. It’s been a difficult season for
...more
Erin
Sep 07, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I try to live my life as positive as I can but must admit that for some months I have been carrying the words of a longtime friend around my mind like an albatross. Reading Lysa's chapters reminded me that sometimes words come from hurt and heartbroken places. Although this woman's Christian text may not work for everyone, it was truly something very special in my life. At the stage where I am in my life, it certainly "spoke" to my feelings and thoughts. I liked how Lysa used her own journey as ...more
Ronie
Feb 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I've taken my time with this book because it felt like a letter from God for the time my husband and I are in right now. TerKeurst penned an amazing book with this one, and it has helped me so beautifully through this brutal time. ...more
Sara Budarz
I have been reading outside of my comfort zone lately, trying to find insight and wisdom in places I don't usually think to look. And in many cases, I have come across books in many areas (memoirs on death, religious books, etc) that have been surprisingly great. And so when I came across this book, I figured it would be one of those books. I mean, the title is great, right? And it gets great reviews. And don't we all want to find unexpected strength when life is hard? But I was wrong. This book ...more
Laura
I really liked how approachable Lysa TerKeurst’s voice was throughout this entire book. This is a book that will touch readers of all ages and situations in life. Not only did I love Lysa’s openness and all of her personal stories, I commend her for incorporating all the Bible verses and really pointing the reader to get into the Word and allow God to give them the strength they need.

I almost didn’t pick this book up because I guess I didn’t feel as though I “needed” a book on disappointments i
...more
Sarah
Nov 26, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Wow! I have to say that this is the best book I have read of hers. I can somewhat relate, in my own way. Life is no picnic and doesn't always turn out the way you want. Hard times certainly hit us unexpectedly. This is her journey of faith through the hard times in her life. Faith! Trusting in God! Strength in between the two gardens of life. I would give this ten stars if I could. Powerful and will definitely look back to this to get me through. ...more
Jessica
"God isn't ever going to forsake you, but He will go to great lengths to remake you."
Gah, this book. My words will not do the beauty or eloquence of the author's plight justice. Nothing would do it justice. TerKeurst is a voice for all women. She puts words to depths of pain and the human soul. A reader can trust every word she writes in this book because she has lived it, in fact lived through it while also writing this book.
I find interesting the way the chapters are written in real time. The
...more
Shelley Lawrence
3.75 stars
It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way was a difficult book to read. In fact, I had to set it down for awhile before continuing. It’s vividly and descriptively emotional, something I’m not all that comfortable with. It deals with some difficult topics with a great deal of openness and candor. But it’s also really relevant and applicable for all people who have lived awhile on this earth.

We all go through heartbreaks in life, periods of prolonged suffering, just because we live in an imperfec
...more
Joan
Dec 02, 2018 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
The life Terkeurst was experiencing was certainly not the life she had planned. Serious abdominal issues and surgery, a marriage broken by betrayal, and then the diagnosis of breast cancer. She shares the lessons she is learning through the adversity. She is free with her raw pain but she is also free with her steadfast faith in God.

She is learning yet again to trust in God. “I forget,” she writes, “that this kind of trusting in God is often forged in the crucible of longsuffering.” (95)

The most
...more
Heidi
Oct 31, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
For anybody who has wondered why God has allowed a certain situation, for anybody who has faced disappointment, or has wondered how their life turned out this way.

Lysa writes from a place of knowledge as she is in the trenches fighting a battle she would never have chosen and, yet, encourages the reader to keep fighting the good fight.
Ally.Always.Reads
Mar 27, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Loved this book and getting to talk about it with my ladies bible study.
Filled with love and information. I’ll definitely be revisiting this one!

At times, I felt like it was hard to relate to. She was talking about her struggles and I just had never experienced anything like that. But even so, I enjoyed her words and you can feel that God was speaking to her so that He can speak to all of us.
Bethany
Jan 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I got this book for Christmas and I had finished reading it by New Year's Eve. I couldn't put it down. There is no "band-aid" theology here. This book takes a very honest but ultimately hopeful look at the reality of suffering and pain in the Christian life. ...more
Linda
Jan 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: bible-study, 2019
Favorite for 2019. I will read again! Great insight into the tough times of life. I gained understanding, strength and comfort. Beautiful, honest writing. A must read if you’ve ever felt lost, heartbroken or overwhelmed by circumstances out of your control.
Dorine
We used this DVD along with the study guide in our small study group. Lysa has a very calming voice and mannerisms that softly address issues many of us experience. This study has heart.
Aimee
Feb 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This book should be read slowly so you can devour each word, each truth. Lysa is a gift, and has a gift with words.
Amy | Foxy Blogs
It's Not Supposed to Be This Way is Ms. TerKeurst's journey through some of her most painful moments and the path to healing.

For readers looking for an emotional read with a side of motivation and healing, this is the book for them.

Audiobook source: Hoopla
Narrator: Lysa TerKeurst & Jolene Barto
Length: 6H 7M
...more
Hannah
Sep 09, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
It's Not Supposed to Be This Way was exactly what I needed to help me through a difficult time.

I would definitely recommend a hard copy of this book, so you can highlight phrases and write directly into the book. I also used a journal along with it. There are questions and prayers at the end of every chapter, which don't have to be answered, but really help you reflect on what you just read.

I'll be honest I did skip a few chapters which I just felt didn't apply to my situation, but overall I th
...more
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 next »
topics  posts  views  last activity   
Meridiana Book Club: What did you guys think about chapters 1-3? 5 10 Aug 31, 2020 03:07PM  
Meridiana Book Club: Next Chapters 4-7? How is it going? 3 3 Apr 23, 2020 02:57PM  
Goodreads Librari...: This topic has been closed to new comments. Please separate editions 6 19 Jul 02, 2019 08:31AM  

Readers also enjoyed

  • Love is the Answer, God is the Cure: A True Story of Abuse, Betrayal and Unconditional Love
  • Live in Grace, Walk in Love: A 365-Day Journey
  • Fervent: A Woman's Battle Plan to Serious, Specific and Strategic Prayer
  • Anxious for Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World
  • Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts
  • Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
  • When Crickets Cry
  • The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery
  • The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here for?
  • Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People
  • Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living
  • Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World
  • You Are the Girl for the Job: Daring to Believe the God Who Calls You
  • Rhythms of Renewal: Trading Stress and Anxiety for a Life of Peace and Purpose
  • The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World
  • Nothing to Prove: Why We Can Stop Trying So Hard
  • Chasing Vines: Finding Your Way to an Immensely Fruitful Life
  • The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears
See similar books…
See top shelves…
6,337 followers
Lysa TerKeurst is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the New York Times best-selling author of Univited, The Best Yes, Unglued, Made to Crave, and 18 other books. Her newest book, It’s Not Supposed to be This Way, is scheduled for release in November of 2018. Lysa was recently awarded the Champions of Faith Author Award and has been published in multiple publications such as CNN and Fox News ...more

News & Interviews

Need another excuse to treat yourself to a new book this week? We've got you covered with the buzziest new releases of the day. To create our...
19 likes · 5 comments
“Sometimes to get your life back, you have to face the death of what you thought your life would look like.” 22 likes
“What if disappointment is really the exact appointment your soul needs to radically encounter God?” 14 likes
More quotes…