Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating

by Christina Lauren

when I meet someone I love, I become an octopus and wind my tentacles around their heart, tighter and tighter until they can’t deny they love me just the same.

His eyes go wide and he coughs as he swallows. “Twenty?” “Actually probably more? Let’s say thirty.” Josh shakes his head and laughs. “Wow, okay.” This response is not an improvement. “Don’t do that.” I point a finger at him. “Don’t act like I’ve crossed some magical threshold of appropriate numbers for a woman. If I was a dude and said that, you’d reply, ‘In high school, right?’ and then high-five me and call me brah.”

“I loved her in the way we love in high school, sort of intensely, idealistically, and without knowing each other all that well.”