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meet someone I love, I become an octopus and wind my tentacles around their heart, tighter and tighter until they can’t deny they love me just the same.
I learned a very important thing that day: my mom would never try to change for a man, and I wouldn’t, either.
PERIOD
The world seems full of men who are initially infatuated by our eccentricities, but who ultimately expect them to be temporary. These men eventually grow bewildered that we don’t settle down into calm, potential-wifey girlfriends.
I always wanted to be friends with him and here he is! My new friend! And he looks at me like I’m this fascinating bug. Like a beetle, not a butterfly, and it’s fine because he already has a butterfly and when you think about it, beetles are pretty great. It’s nice.” For some inexplicable reason, I repeat it again. “It’s nice.”
Been there girl :/
“Your face is fine.” She pushes up to stand and holds out a hand. I let her help me up, and she pats my chest. “But how’s your heart?”
sense a hint of sibling rivalry as his brows come together. “Well… my Hazel, too,” he says, and I don’t have to tell you that I am freaking delighted by this. “Haze, this is my mom, Esther Im.”
surmise
Is it over now
“What?” I say, hearing the aggressive edge to my voice. He laughs. “Nothing. Just…” “Just what?”
LOL GO JOSH
“Lots of guys are great with other guys, and legit assholes with women.”
Facts
I stop on my way to the kitchen, bending to plant a kiss on her forehead. “Sorry, Haze.”
Yall r not just friends GOODBYE LOL
“You’re my person,” she says. “Thanks for sticking up for me tonight.” She gives these vulnerable words so freely it makes fondness clench at something in my chest. Taking her hand, I bring it to my mouth and press a quick kiss to the backs of her knuckles. “I like being your person.”
AWWW
I decide right there to make sure somebody does.
“But I don’t want things to change,”
He doesn’t need me to change or pretend to be someone else. He’s my person. He’s my best friend.”
I’ve never had casual sex. I’ve honestly never understood the impulse; sex is so supremely intimate. I give away a nonrefundable piece of myself, every time.
omg if only every guy thought like this
That word—love—feels like a wrecking ball.
Real
“I think I might.” I look at Emily. “I think I might be in love with her.”
“You didn’t tell me Hazel is Hazel Bradford! Did you know she’s the love of my life?”
WHAT LOL GOODBYE YUCK
and I imagine opening my mouth and eating his shirt, swallowing it with the chocolate bar.
Im sorry??
Friend cock! Not for you!
Lmaoo
I need to know she did. If the answer is no, I’m not done here.
OKAY JOSH
And seriously, what the hell? Where is my Crazy Hazie?
LOL AWW
Hazel shrugs, and her enormous brown eyes meet mine. “I like hanging out with you.” Emily kicks me, hard, under the table, and Dave’s foot reaches diagonally across and steps on mine. I kick at them both, and Emily lets out a little yelp.
LOL
I can’t help but push. “What did you call her in college?” Tyler smirks. “ ‘Babe.’ ”
BURNN
I dance away the feeling that I’m in love with Josh, and am prolonging his rejection because I know it will slaughter me.
Tyler leans in. “You’re… being sort of embarrassing.”
Hell no ur done
It’s only been six months since we started hanging out, but already it feels like he’s this redwood in the forest of my life, and so starting at the beginning is bewildering.
miss Hazel. I’d buy a lifetime supply of fire extinguishers and eat bad pancakes every day to have her around again.
“But I love who she is,” I say simply.
There’s nothing I can do tonight. I just need to breathe.
To fall in love, to be loved. The reality that we are together now is enough by itself to make my breath grow tight and hot in my chest.
I sit down beside my wife as she asks, “Did you?”
WIFE?? OMG I CRYING NOW
I’m an optimist; I always anticipated having a good life. But to have dreamed something like this would have felt enormously selfish.
