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As they walked away, he nodded toward the tomb and the words written on it. IF LIFE TRANSCENDS DEATH, THEN I WILL SEEK FOR YOU THERE. IF NOT, THEN THERE TOO. “It’s an interesting quote,” he said. “I feel like I should recognize it. Who wrote it?” “I don’t know,” she said. “She only told us to put it on her grave. She didn’t say where it came from.”
He’d gotten older too. His once-black hair was almost totally gray now, and laugh lines spread out from the corners of his eyes. She didn’t mind. She liked that he smiled more than he frowned.
As the uncanny semisentient intelligence of the protomolecule tried to make contact with other nodes in the gate builders’ long-dead empire, it woke up mechanisms that had been dormant for millions—or even billions—of years. The end result had been an ancient factory returning to life, a massive robot attack, the melting of one artificial moon, and the detonation of a power plant that nearly cracked the planet in two. All in all, a really shitty experience.
“A moral victory, I guess,” Bobbie sighed. “You know who talks about moral victories?” Jillian asked as she floated out of the room. “The team that lost.”
That’s the thing about autocracy. It looks pretty decent while it still looks pretty decent. Survivable, anyway. And it keeps looking like that right up until it doesn’t. That’s how you find out it’s too late.
Growing older was a falling away of everything that didn’t matter. And a deepening appreciation of all the parts that were important enough to stay.
She didn’t want to have any company but her dog and her self-pity.
And then the fake grin ended and he really smiled, and the decades fell away. Even before he spoke, she heard him. The mix of sorrow and amusement in his eyes, like a guest at a party that had gone so wrong that the travesty had lapped itself and become a little bit fun again.
“My dad’s not an asshole. And Holden’s a killer. He doesn’t get to judge other people.” “Your dad’s kind of an asshole,” Timothy said, his expression philosophical, his voice matter-of-fact. “And he’s killed a lot more people than Holden ever did.” “That’s different. That’s war. He had to do it or else no one would have been able to organize everyone. We’d just have stumbled into the next conflict unprepared. My dad’s trying to save us.” Timothy held up a finger like she’d made his point for him. “Now you’re telling me why it’s okay he’s an asshole.”
“Getting what you want fucks you up,” she’d said.
There was no better way to seem trustworthy than to be liked by a dog, and there was no better way to convince a dog to like you than bribery.
“On the upside, there are thirteen hundred different Laconias now. Less than that, really. A lot of the smaller colonies don’t have governors on-site yet. They’re essentially free.” “And in danger of collapsing without support. I’m not sure dying free is as attractive when it stops being rhetorical.”
“How can I help?” Elvi asked. It sounded better than What the fuck do you want me to do about this?
“His name was Timothy. He was my best friend.” Trejo’s jaw went tight. “His name was Amos Burton. He was a terrorist and murderer and the mechanic on James Holden’s ship, and apparently he’s been sipping tea with the daughter of the high consul for months. Anything you told him, the underground may know. So begin at the beginning, go slow, be thorough, and tell me what you have fucking done to us.”
welp my heart just broke 😭 can’t believe this whiny privileged child got Amos killed 😭
“I’m going to go obsessively run diagnostics on systems I know are solid so I can feel like I have control of something.”
He was a good… Well, he wasn’t really exactly a good person. He cared enough to try, anyway. But he was loyal as hell.” Holden paused. “He was my brother. I loved him.”
They weren’t really stationary. Nothing in the universe was. It was only that their vectors matched for the moment. Stillness was an illusion.
“When we get there, I’m stepping out. I thought I might go check on the old girl. Make sure nothing’s been makin’ a nest in her. After that, I don’t know. I guess that’s your call, since you’re running the show now. I don’t want to take her out unless you’re good with it. You and me are the only ones left now. So. Yeah. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to let Bobbie go.” “Don’t apologize to me,” Naomi said to the screen. Her tears made lenses over her eyes. “Oh, sweet man, don’t apologize for this.”
💔💔💔
So she’d lied. That was interesting. She’d told him what he wanted to hear, and it wasn’t even because she wanted to protect him or keep him safe. It was just easier. She understood now why adults lied to children. It wasn’t love. It was exhaustion. And she was like them now. They’d eaten her.
“Going hand to hand with a ship the combined strength of Earth, Mars, and the Transport Union couldn’t beat and winning?” “Yeah. If we’ve got to die, I guess that’s a pretty good way to go. Still. I’m sorry we’ve got to die.”
“If I can try to put this all in a wider context?” “Please do,” Trejo said. “It’s about the nature of consciousness.” “That may be a wider context than I was looking for, Major.”
“How disappointing for the dark gods,”
Bellerophon—had redeployed as if to make a full
“Captain?” Ian said. “I have something.” “Not as helpful as you think,” Naomi snapped.
Dreams were fragile things to build with. Titanium and ceramic lasted longer.
In her peripheral vision, she saw Holden step in front of Muskrat, his arms still lifted, but Ilich wasn’t paying attention to that now.
We love Holden already but of course he puts himself between the dog and harm 🩷
“Who’s there?” the man’s voice called. “Alex?” Holden shouted. Almost conversationally, the voice said, “Well, holy shit.”
Muskrat paced at the bottom of the stair anxiously. “I don’t know,” Teresa said to her. “This is why I told you to stay in my rooms.”
Probably the biggest reason I don’t like Theresa is because she was just going to leave her dog behind
They stood in silence for a moment, and then Jim stepped forward and cycled the exterior door. When it was open, the little chemical boosters on the coffin slid it to the edge of the lock. And then it was gone. Jim cycled the lock closed again, turned, and stepped in, putting his arms around her and Alex. A moment later, the solid mass of Amos’ arms looped around her too. The four of them held each other there with the hum and rumble of the Rocinante around them. They stayed there for a long time.
“What about you?” Naomi said. “What about me?” “Will you be okay?” Jim smiled, and there was only a little weariness in his eyes. Only a little sorrow. “I played a long, terrible, shitty game, and I won. Then after I won, I made it back home. I’m waking up in the morning next to you. I’m perfect.”
“We are in a war—” “Yes, you should fix that too.” “Excuse me?” “You should stop being in a war. Send the underground a fruit basket or something. Start peace talks. I don’t know. However that works. I said it before, and I meant it. If you want peace, lose gracefully. We have bigger problems.”
Muskrat floated in the middle of the room, a complex diaper on her haunches with a hole for her tail. She started wagging as soon as Holden came in. It made her gyrate around a center of mass defined by her larger and mostly still body and her lighter and fast-moving tail. Holden tossed a thumb-sized bit of the bacon at her mouth, and she caught it.
“One thing, though?” He braced in the doorway. Amos’ eerie black eyes were on him. “Sure.” “Those things that Duarte pissed off? The ones that ate Medina?” “I know the ones you mean,” Holden said. “One of the things I know now is that they’re going to kill everybody.” They were silent for a moment. “Yeah,” Holden said. “I know that too.”
Extremely ominous ending to the penultimate book
