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“Some of you resist the loss of intensity, some of you accept it, but all of you seem to believe that desire fades. What you disagree on is just how important the loss really is,” I comment. Romantics value intensity over stability. Realists value security over passion. But both are often disappointed, for few people can live happily at either extreme.
Today, our sexuality is an open-ended personal project; it is part of who we are, an identity, and no longer merely something we do.
For generations, these traditional institutions provided order, meaning, continuity, and social support. Dismantling them has left us with more choices and fewer restrictions than ever. We are freer, but also more alone.
and has created a situation in which we turn to one person for the protection and emotional connections that a multitude of social networks used to provide. Adult intimacy has become overburdened with expectations.
attempt to control the risks of passion, you have tamed it out of existence.
we must be able to bring a sense of unknown into a familiar space.
People are afraid to allow themselves these moments of idealization and yearning for the person they live with.
Love is at once an affirmation and a transcendence of who we are.
Being chosen by the one you chose is one of the glories of falling in love. It generates a feeling of intense personal importance. I matter. You confirm my significance.
