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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Eric Barker
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February 5 - October 14, 2021
Research shows that very creative people are more arrogant, dishonest, and disorganized. They also get lower grades in school. Despite what teachers may say, they
This is regularly seen across a wide variety of disorders—and talents. Studies show people with attention deficit disorder (ADD) are more creative. Psychologist Paul Pearson found a connection between humor, neuroticism, and psychopathy. Impulsivity is a generally negative trait frequently mentioned in the same sentence as “violent” and “criminal,” but it also has a clear link to creativity.
“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”
The Terman Study, which followed over a thousand people from youth to death, came to the conclusion that the people who surround us often determine who we become.
Kinda sad that it works, but we get it. It’s just human nature that when people do too much and don’t ever push back, they get taken for granted.
“[People are] always trying to discern two things: whether a potential partner can be trusted and whether he or she is likely to be encountered again. Answers to those two questions, far beyond anything else, will determine what any of us will be motivated to do in the moment.”
In your head, you say between three hundred and a thousand words every minute to yourself. Those words can be positive (I can do it) or negative (Oh god, I can’t take this anymore). It turns out that when these words are positive, they have a huge effect on your mental toughness, your ability to keep going. Subsequent studies of military personnel back this up.
Optimists are luckier. Studies show by thinking positive they persevere and end up creating more opportunities for themselves.
A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the “why” for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any “how.”
Stories are the
invisible undercurrent that promotes success in a shocking number of the most important areas of life.
Studies show that when we relate to characters in fictional stories we are more likely to overcome obstacles to achieve our goals.
Destiny, on the other hand, is the thing we must chase, what we must bring to fruition. It’s what we strive toward and make true.
Meaning keeps us going when stark reality says “quit.”
Very often our stories are stronger than we are, and if they’re meaningful ones, they can carry us through the tough times.
Move on. Find a game you can win.
Good games continually have new levels, new enemies, new achievements. Our brains love novelty, and good games make sure we’re always stimulated by something just a little different, honing our attention.
Csikszentmihályi’s research showed that flow was most reliably and most efficiently produced by the specific combination of self-chosen goals, personally optimized obstacles, and continuous feedback that make up the essential structure of gameplay. “Games are an obvious source of flow,” he wrote, “and play is the flow experience par excellence.”
The workplace wants you to be good at your job, and that makes sense, but that’s like a game you’re too good at. It’s dull.
We think we want to rest, but what we really want is a different type of challenge.
We crave ease, but stimulation is what really makes us happy.
Research shows that the most motivating thing is progress in meaningful work.
Celebrating those “small wins” is something that gritty survivors all have in common. And it’s one of the reasons Alcoholics Anonymous is successful. Staying sober one day at a time is a small win. And as a paper in American Psychologist showed, “Once a small win has been accomplished, forces are set in motion that favor another small win.”
As Henry David Thoreau said, “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”
He was forced to acknowledge trade-offs and focus his little energy on the things that mattered—and to quit doing everything
else.
Most of all, Wiseman says, lucky people just try stuff. It makes intuitive sense: if you lock yourself in your house, how many exciting, new, cool things are going to happen to you? Not many.
These actions give people confidence, which helps them perform better. (So wish your friends luck. It really does help.)
them. As long as what they do isn’t too risky and they rationalize the occasional bad stuff, it’s an upward spiral. Eventually something hits.
So keep trying new things. It makes you luckier.
This gives you the best of both worlds. Use trying and quitting as a deliberate strategy to find out what is worth not quitting. You’re not being a total flake but someone who strategically tests the waters.
“All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.”
“People who switch jobs more frequently early in their careers tend to have higher wages and incomes in their prime-working years. Job-hopping is actually correlated with higher incomes, because people have found better matches—their true calling.”
Facing different challenges in different contexts allowed them to look at things differently, to challenge assumptions, and to realize breakthroughs. Getting lots of different ideas crashing together turns out to be one of the keys to creativity.
Spending 5 percent of your time trying new things, knowing you will quit most of them, can lead to great opportunities. (And not all of them need to involve concussions.)
Fantasizing gives us the reward before we’ve accomplished the task and saps the energy we need to realize it. More dreams now mean less achievement later.
What’s so powerful here? You’re getting your non-conscious mind involved. Instead of waiting until problems arise, you’re giving your brain a habitual response to enact on autopilot.
WOOP—wish, outcome, obstacle,
plan—is applicable to most any of your goals, from career to relationships to exercise and weight loss.
Being a little pessimistic at times keeps us honest. But when the risks are very low (which is true, frankly, for most things) or when the payoffs are very high (such as a career you might want to devote your life to) optimism is the way to
go.
With the little things, show optimism. What have you got to lose? And with the big things that can change your life, optimism is the fuel to push yourself past the odds. When things seem high risk and low reward, pessimism is a tool you can dust off to make sure you don’t go all Pollyanna.
For an extra boost, try writing your story down. Research shows it can make you 11 percent happier with your life.
Get rid of the activities that provide little value and don’t serve your goals. Then add those hours to fuel progress toward the big things that matter.
A big part of the science of luck was about encountering new opportunities. In the same way that having a large
network opens you up to job opportunities, it exposes you to all kinds of other new possibilities.
Author (and Olympic gold medalist) David Hemery reports that almost nine out of ten top athletes identify as introverts.
we often underestimate by as much as 50 percent how much others are willing to help us when asked. As we
talked about in chapter 2, being mistrustful or assuming others are selfish can be self-fulfilling prophecies.
Neuroscientist Diana Tamir found that your brain gets more pleasure from you talking about yourself than it does from food or money. This is why you should stop doing it and let others do it as much as possible around you. Arthur Aron’s research has demonstrated that asking people questions about themselves can create a bond as strong as a lifelong friendship in a surprisingly short amount of time.
