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Every educational psychologist and child development expert in a fifty-mile radius has evaluated me. They figured out I’m gifted, but not in a typical way. Smart. But not necessarily a genius. My random recollections of historical events, that are not at all noteworthy, are most puzzling.
“Wow.” I inspect the story-and-a-half library or office. I’m not sure which it is. There’s an imposing antique desk surrounded by three walls of bookshelves and a ladder—the cool kind that glides on rollers along the shelves. The other wall is all windows, and the far ends have panels of medieval stained glass like something salvaged from a church. Slivers of late afternoon light cutting through the trees filter in as a splattering of Technicolor around the room. “This is an amazing space.”
I may need to figure out why he’s attracted to me, but I don’t have to figure out why I’m crazy about him. He’s sexy, comfortable in his skin, and so damn goofy it’s ridiculous.
It’s almost too painful to be here, but I can’t walk away. This house—this family—needs two paddles and a jolt of life put back into it.
He rubs his nose against mine then nips at my lower lip. He smells like grease, sweat, and spearmint from his favorite xylitol gum. It’s not a marketable combination, but it’s my addiction.
The imperfections are character. The chaos is my favorite music.
last goodbyes don’t RSVP. Take lots of mental pictures of favorite moments. And being present with the ones that matter most is the wisest investment of time.
“I was her now. She was my always. And I thought that would add up to forever.”
broken bone is nothing compared to a broken heart. One is a scratch. The other leaves a scar on your soul.”
With a single smile she showed me love never dies. We just experience it in different forms, ever-changing like the tides and the stars in the night’s sky.
It’s funny how limitless the mind is, but such a small fraction of thoughts materialize into spoken words.
Everything is part of something bigger, small threads of infinity, ever changing.”
“The people in our lives give color to our existence. When we love, we choose to let part of our heart—part of our soul—live inside of another person. Their happiness is our happiness. Their grief is our grief. And when they die … part of us dies too.”
“I know. I’m asking you to lie to me if the truth hurts. I’m asking you to love me even when you don’t understand me. It’s selfish and immature. I’m selfish and immature. But I’m also alone and scared and going through something that has derailed my life. So maybe you think I’m crazy now, but if I don’t figure this out I will most certainly go crazy beyond anything I am right now.”
The mind functions with memory, but flourishes from discovery.
Insecurities suck. But they make you fight to keep the important things in life. They’re a solemn reminder that emotions are not a choice; they’re a toxic mix of chemicals running amuck in our bodies, playing roulette with our relationships.
I can’t stop thinking of this. It’s a song that loops in my head. It’s a movie I want to watch until I have every scene—every line—memorized. It’s my favorite book where all the words have been read and reread in search of something new, something more.
“We don’t love with our brains, we love with our hearts. We love on instinct. Love is undefinable and resides in all of us. There are no requirements to love someone.
