“My mom has the house professionally decorated every year. For Thanksgiving and Halloween too. It’s always beautifully done, but Dan and I were never allowed to touch anything. We even had a huge sleigh in the front yard one year, a real one with a bag of fake gifts in the back, and when I asked my mom if I could sit in it, she slapped me.” He said it all so benignly, as if he was talking about the weather. We’re expecting an uncommon cold front with a side of frigid bitch.
