Birds, Beasts and Relatives (The Corfu Trilogy Book 2)

by Gerald Durrell

Everyone I’ve met so far has a cold. The entire population of the British Isles seems to do absolutely nothing from one year’s end to another except shuffle round in small circles sneezing voluptuously into each other’s faces … a sort of merry-go-round of reinfection. What chance of survival has one got?’

‘Really,’ she said, ‘we ought to report him to somebody. They’d never be able to carry on like that in the Church of England.’

‘But snails don’t sit on their eggs,’ he explained. ‘They bury them in damp earth and leave them.’ ‘The ideal way of bringing up a family,’ said Mother, unexpectedly but with immense conviction. ‘I wish I’d been able to bury you all in some damp earth and leave you.’

Eventually the tune came to a harsh, discordant end. Sven heaved a sigh of pure delight, opened his eyes, and smiled at Mother. ‘Bach is so beautiful,’ he said. ‘Oh, yes,’ said Mother with well-simulated enthusiasm. ‘I’m glad you like it,’ said Sven. ‘I’ll play you some more.’

‘My God,’ said Leslie. ‘I can’t stand those things. I hope he isn’t going to play it all over the house.’ ‘No, no, dear. I’m sure he won’t,’ said Mother hastily, but her tone lacked conviction. Just at that moment Larry appeared on the veranda again. ‘Where’s Sven’s accordion?’ he asked. ‘He wants to play me something.’

Roger, who was uninhibited and straightforward in his dealings with human beings, summed up his opinion of Sven’s performance by throwing back his head and howling dismally, a thing he only did normally when he heard the national anthem.

Our progress to the tube station was slow, since the puppies circumnavigated any obstacle in their path in different ways, and we had to pause continually to unwind Aunt Fan from the lamp-posts, pillar-boxes, and occasional passers-by.

At her entrance, Max had thrown his arms wide and was now gazing upon her with all the devoutness of a Crusader catching his first sight of Jerusalem.